bob rivers - holy shit it's christmas lyrics
hamster #1: did you hear that?
hamster #2: hey everybody, santa’s here!
hamster #3: aw, there ain’t no santa claus.
hamster #2: there is, too!
hamsters: he’s here!!!
rivers: ho, ho, ho…merry christmas!
hamster #1: aw sh-t, it’s red peters!
rivers: c’mon, you swinging hamsters, get over here.
we’re gonna sing us a happy christmas song.
hamster #3: oh no, not another corny stupid song!
hamster #2: yeah no way.
rivers: get over here and sing or i’ll wring your
little necks.
hamsters: okay, okay
rivers:
grab your nuts hamsters, gather round with me.
forget about all that teasin’.
we’re breaking out the holly and aluminum tree
cause it’s that jolly season.
i know you’ve been naughty, but have you been nice?
that’s only santa’s business
he’s making his list and he’s checking it twice.
all: holy sh-t, it’s christmas!
hamsters:
santa comes just once a year
just like you, red. that’s what we hear.
he’s got a soft spot for reindeer.
especially rudolph’s derierre.
rivers:
hey, knock it off fellas. it’s a holiday.
go on, give santa a big kiss.
you can play “hide the hamster” on the one-horse
sleigh.
all: holy sh-t, it’s christmas!
rivers: hey what happened to my lyric sheet? anyone
seen my lyric sheet?
hamster #1: heck, we don’t need no lyric sheets, red.
we know our parts by heart. right, fellas?
hamster #3: yeah sure, i know my part
hamster #2: yeah me too
rivers: well that’s great, guys. i love christmas
songs.
godfried: santa tried reaching up the neighbor’s blouse
after drinking all the egg nog
bruce: camped out in the bathroom for an hour or two
squashing off a yule log
raleigh: he wandered in his undies all over the house
but we minded our own business
hamsters: til we caught him stuffing hamsters up a gift
wrap tube.
all: holy sh-t, it’s christmas
rivers:
santa comes just once a year.
up the chimney he’ll disappear.
hamsters:
keep on the lookout for mr. gear
hamster deliveries in the rear
rivers:
gimme those lyrics
roastnuts chestin’ on an open fire
santa’s tongue stuck to the doorkn-b
his b-lls got fondled by a caroling choir
while the parson gave him a hand…what?
the sleigh came down and took him away.
the whole d-mn crowd was dismissed.
all:
it was a time to be jolly and a time to be gay.
holy sh-t, it’s christmas.
holy sh-t, it’s christmas.
holy sh-t! it’s christmas!
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