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bob the drag queen - deck a ho lyrics

[bob]
what a do you’ll tight seasonish
it’s your girl hood p-ssy once again
but now i got my cousin laquifa (what!?)
we commin’ to stomp on your gifts
drink your milk, eat your cookies
and whoop your kids bad -sses

hey everybody, nice to meet ya
new b-tch on campus
eating young mc’s like my name was krampus (heeey)
i’m the return on a new year
trust me baby boy you do not wanna be here
they’re rushin’ out to get me like black friday
and your man wanted two black aphrodite, uh

many other roofs, slay
lame b-tches outta my way
the presents, the gifts, the joy, the wheel
f-ck all the noise, i don’t have no chill

deck a ho if she gets mouthy
fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
when the po po comes (that’s right) b-tch i’m outtie
fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
don me now, my new stilettos
fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, yes b-tch!
dodging all these hatin’ -ssholes
fa la-la-la-la, your boyfriend like it!

santa comes down my chimney then im sit in the back
i kick the jolly motherf-cker in his christmas sack
yelling ho ho ho
give him a couple of blows
now i call him rudolph
he got a bl–dy red nose
he want cookies and milk
i want satin and silk
he got elfs and misses
i got five bad b-tches
he spreadin’ joy and good will
i’m making hundred dolla’ bills
so yule tide motherf-cker
gimme that platinum heels

everytime around christmas b-tches wanna get slick
but then you gotta find that att-tude and check you quick
keep my name out your mouth unless it’s to my benefit
’cause when b-tches talk sh-t, b-tches get hit
i want snow, i want ice, i want everything that’s nice
i gave you my wishlist
please dont make me ask you twice
do you want my advice?
well, let me be precise
give me what the f-ck i want or you will have to pay the price

you better not cry, you better not pout
’cause if you do you gettin’ knocked the f-ck out
hood p-ssy is coming to town
sh-t!

[bob speaking]
laquifa is hood p-ssy, i’m waiting for you
we standing outside
where you at?
d-mn! why you’re always late?
anyway, love you boo!

[shangela]
oh, did somebody call for a ho ho ho?
it’s laquifa
wh-wh-what!?
you’re ’bout that holiday
true pimps, they focus on the holipay (pay-pay-pay)
y’all looking for halls to deck?
i’ll be sitting by the fireplace counting checks, bet
i don’t [?] these claws
sitting at the north pole, frozen rose, ha!
clock my new shoes
fur platforms that drop on your roof
you be nice i’m naughty, daughty
keep the eggnog make my hot hottie
you want a new gift? put a bow on this body
sign for this package and we’re gettin’ to the party, lottie
ooh, come on hood p-ssy, let’s find us a north pole to slide down
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ow!

[bob]
de-de-deck the halls, twerk and split
call me menorah because this b-tch is lit
[?]

deck a ho if she gets mouthy
fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
when the po po comes b-tch i’m outtie
fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
don me now, my new stilettos
fa la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, yes b-tch!
dodging all these hatin’ -ssholes
fa la-la-la-la, your boyfriend like it!
and whoop your kids bad -sses

- bob the drag queen lyrics

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