bonzo dog band - look out, there's a monster coming lyrics
lonely, unmarried, looking for love
life was p-ssing me by
so i sent off my photo, hobbies and age;
magazine marriage i tried
they say for centuries lovely j-panese girls
have been trained in the art of pleasing men
be lonely no more, open destiny’s door
for one dollar they arrange a meeting
my image was wrong, i didn’t like me
so i changed my personality
i bought a delux merseybeat wig
but it was a size too big
what confidence in my new built-up shoes
so smart for winter or summer
undetectable in normal everyday use
look out there’s a monster coming!
bye-bye binoculars and macintosh
everything is just great
i take elocution, learn to speak posh
but still i can’t find a mate
be popular, learn to play the guitar
in seven days you could be strumming
be sociable, learn kissing technique
look out there’s a monster coming!
carnaby clothes, i reshaped my nose
plastic surgery’s best
to cut down my weight off comes my left leg
i p-ss a swimming costume test
are my sideboards too long
don’t my aftershave pong?
i know my new nose ain’t runnin’
what’s wrong with my tie?
am i getting too high?
look out there’s a monster coming!
disfiguring and ugly, my facial hair
i had removed electrically
i rejuvenated my energy cells
and regained my virility (grunt grunt)
(he put my hand on my heart?)
(i am changing the part?)
he had a machine for a mummy
please be gentle with me:
i come to pieces literally
look out there’s a monster coming!
look out there’s a monster coming!
look out there’s a monster coming!
(…fade)
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