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brian david gilbert - the perfect pokerat lyrics

so terry…
this one’s for you

i want to be the best (best, best, best)
be the best (best, best)
bulbasaur, charmander, squirtle
caterpie, b-tterfree, wurmple
scorbunny, sobble, and grookey
lickitung and lickilicky
haxorus, cof-grigus
poliwrath, mismagius
fraxure, crabrawler, dewpider
sh-llder, cloyster, haunter, grimer
golurk, luxio
swampert, lilligant, tynamo
seismitoad, politoed, palipitoad, seel
parasect, trevenant, toxapex, spheal
mandibuzz, scatterbug, graveler, pelipper
elgyem, pikipek, clawitzer, conkeldurr
probop-ss, scolipede, delibird, ursaring
blaziken, fennekin, quilladin, nidoking
skrelp
alakazam, patrat
woobat, swoobat, crobat
golbat, zubat
poochyena, carracosta
teddiursa, umbreon
alomomola, chikorita
gothorita, drudigon
snorunt, tyrunt, charjabug
ninjask, yamask, avalugg
finneon, drapion, jolteon, sylveon
glaceon, espeon, jigglypuff
igglybuff, wigglytuff
dhelmise, servine, rockruff
porygon, porygon z. porygon2, rimbombee
skuntank, klang, klinklang
miltank and metang
luxray
pidgey, hitmonlee
skitty, happiny
mudbray
lotad, durant, serperior
gourgeist, stoutland, exeggutor
abra, seadra, nidorina
dewott, chesnaught, primarina
omanyte, dragonite, charizard
magnemite, medit-te, dusknoir
ivysaur, venusaur, minior, garbodor
ariados, tyranitar
glameow, meowth, exploud
wobbuffet, furret, bellsprout
starmie, starly, frogadier
delcatty, escavalier
venonat, poliwag, hippopotas
spinarak, marowak, jumpluff, feebas
foongus, amoongus, and pidgeotto
weepinbell, victreebel, hakamo-o
aurorus, aromatisse, medicham
mamoswine, slurpuff, flabebe
feraligatr, eevee sigilyph
elekid, anorith, inkay
(gotta catch ‘em all) rowlet, golett, honedge, archen, croconaw
(gotta catch ‘em all) sentret, pignite, bergmite, mantyke, kakuna
sudowoodo, wishiwashi
popplio, abomasnow
charmeleon, darumaka
hariyama, sharpedo
whiscash, raticate, sableye
sandslash, kricketune, cutiefly
beautifly, togepi, volcarona
magnezone, lunatone, roggenrola
samurott, oshawott, whimsicott, kangaskhan
larvitar, pupitar, omastar, kecleon
togekiss, simisage, nidoqueen, cottonee
forretress, salamence, jellicent, bunnelby
piloswine, carnivine
illumise and remoraid
i think we are done with the triplet rap
so now let’s rap to educate

alright
here we go!
are ya ready friends, hey come on!
let’s learn a little something from the pokémon!
there’s persian and mudsdale, donphan and huntail
sandygast, nosep-ss, frossl-ss, lapras!
i love to say the pokémon, but here’s the catch
saying them all kinda seems farfetch’d!
let me axew a question?
want to help me out?
it’s time to throh in more names!
come on give me a shout!
-perfect yell of 200 pokémon.-
those pokémon are tentacool!
-another perfect yell of 200 pokémon.-
and those pokémon are trash!
combee my friend, i’ve got more to say
and if we diglett-le deeper, we can learn today!
so why not get comfey, don’t be krabby or blue!
here are some lessons, and i rotom for you
if you muk around in cl-ss, you’ll be distraught!
don’t bidoof-us, just study a lot!
if you’re slaking in school, you’ll drop out sooner!
and abstinence is key, or you’ll get a mime jr
swanna grab some candy for a sweet treat?
amaura-mazing snack is pichu can eat!
bewear of shiftry strangers who offer you hugs
don’t stick forks into eelectrik plugs
wear a shelmet when you rhydon bikes
keep a well-stocked bagon extra long hikes!
make sure to stay away from that ferroseed
and that’s just one name people have for weed!
there’s pansage, and slowbro, oddish, and bonsly
tropius, seedot, nuzleaf, and stunky!
and blissey, loudred, dewgong and goodra
bounsweet, bayleef, hypno, and munna!
you’ll be drowzee if you swellow that tangrowth smoke
also koffing and weezing, hey, you might machoke!
so if someone says, “hey, want some dank lombre?”
look ‘em dedenne the eye, and say no way!
i tell you natu do drugs, but if someone’s smoking treecko, does that make them a bad person?
definitely no!
don’t mean to carr-yanma point in this verse is that alienating drug users makes things worse!
don’t lock someone up if they take a hitmonchan
and criminalizing addicts is a really bad plan
big pharma is the root of our country’s problem with opiate addiction
golem
gastly, horsea, chansey, burmy
clefairy, mankey, klefki, goomy
hoo!
rapping’s hard, let me catch my breath
might as well check how many we’ve got left!
there’s less than 150 left
can i really do this?
i used to have this dream
back when i was a child
i’d make the pokérap listenable
and everybody called me reckless and wild
but i never gave up
i kept at it everyday
and with pikachu beside me and my ‘dex to guide me
i knew that there’d be a way
to ignore all of the naysayers
i’d need a thicker skin than metapod
wynaut leave my comfort zone, jump in the unown
maybe someday everyone will applaud
it’s absol-utely worth taking a risk
plusle make a few friends as i try
seaking how to be strong as i raichu a song
though i still don’t know where to put mr. mime
but who cares if i couldn’t find a good place to put togedemaru, pyuk-muku, mawile
sceptile, weavile, sandile, helioptile, leafeon, gengar, malamar, marshtomp, chatot, simipour
ferrothorn, toxicroak, minccino, cinccino, azumarill, tranquill, excadrill, marill, beedrill
and togetic, basculin, gigalith, crabominable, kingdra, ambipom, gastrodon, bastiodon, hippowdon
vivillon, bisharp, liepard, dunsparce, aipom, slakoth, ralts, dustox
i still found a way to put ‘em in there!
no matter the scizor the scope of the task
i don’t need a magikarp-et ride
i’machamp-ion, hero, there’s nothing to fearow
my true power comes from inside
and that brings us all of the way to the top
i’ve said every name i can say
i’ll let my body confess the names that i can’t express
yes it’s time for the dream ballet!
come on!
but there’s one pokemon, my own holy grail
that i gave kevin punt, i hope that b-st-rd’s in jail
’cause of all tangelas, terry is the apex
and i gave him up for my ‘dex
when you love terry terribly, and then terry is gone
what’s the point of having every other pokemon?
there’s a wound in my heart that i can’t get rid of
how can i find joy without my tangly boy?
why catch them all if you can’t keep the ones that you love?
terry!
oh terry…

- brian david gilbert lyrics

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