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brian haner sr. - thanksgiving lyrics

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thanksgiving dinner with my family
mother says grace, dad says let’s eat
the table is set and it’s fit for a king
as we all brace for mother’s first zing

mother asks brother, “are you still unemployed?” now his wife patty’s become quite annoyed
dad pulls out a flask as his eyes start to twitch
that’s when patty calls mother a b+tch
sister speaks up and says, “god, please don’t fight”
so mom turns to her, looks straight in her eye
says, “you’ve got four children by five different men
when you figure that out, then you can chimе in”

dad stands straight up, waving his empty flask
yells, “don’t pick on my girl,” then hе falls on his ass
mama starts crying and then screams aloud
“you drove him to drink, i hope you’re all proud”

the turkey gets up and it dances a jig
mom’s got a tail, dad’s wearing a wig
and i see it all through a [?]
i’ll never take acid again

cousin paul’s phantom girlfriend couldn’t make it this year
mom says, “give it up, paul, we all know you’re queer”
my mean aunt bernice is now wearing a grin
guess the antidepressants kicked in
now grandma is wandering out in the street
she is b+tt naked from her head to her feet
she’s directing traffic and clearly messed up
if i had to guess, i’ll bet she drank from my cup

we get in our cars at the end of the day
freedom’s at hand as we all drive away
we let out a sigh but before we can leave
mom shouts from the porch
“i’ll see you all christmas eve”

- brian haner sr lyrics

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