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bumps inf - if things were different lyrics

[verse 1: bumps inf]
i often wonder how the absence of my father
is currently impacting me, i ponder
on top of that, when you factor in the tragedies and drama
and drug use, and then the early passing of my momma
now, i don’t want you to feel sorry for me
i just want to know all the ways it’s [?] to me
like, how did it shape who i am today?
how does a boy become a man with no examples laid?
to talk about the show we usually didn’t
but the very few times that this dude would get mentioned, uh
my responses was always super indifferent
kind of numb, didn’t think it madе that huge of a differencе
how can you hurt for something you’ve been brutally missing
if it’s a child you never even knew it existed? uh
i guess one can only speculate
how many ways it’s still affecting me to this present day (go, go, go)

[chorus: bizzle]
i never thought i could ever be (never be)
affected by someone i never seen (never seen)
it trickles down to these babies of mine (mine)
they got the pieces that you left behind (you left me behind)
and if this apple can fall far from that tree (so far from that tree)
then, i pray that they can be better than me
[verse 2: bumps inf]
what if the whole time while i grow up
my father lived with us and my mom was sober
and from an early age they both taught me things?
would i be better equipped for this adult man thing?
yeah, would i have better ethics?
maybe, more impressive methods i can get ahead with
would my moral compass be like little more stable
and emotionally not be like a tornado?
would i have better values instilled in me?
guess the real question’s: would i still be me
or would i be the same old kid who would never make it through high school?
had some better days and lost everything that i knew
but would i still end up perpetuating a cycle
and fail at the thing that i dedicated my life, too
or would my own kids have a stable environment
if i grew in a home that had both my parents inside of it?

[chorus: bizzle]
i never though i could ever be (never be)
affected by someone i never seen (never seen)
it trickles down to these babies of mine (mine)
they got the pieces that you left behind (you left me behind)
and if this apple can fall far from that tree (so far from that tree)
then, i pray that they can be better than me
[verse 3: bumps inf]
hey, yo, my children’s where my head is now
so, if they listening, i’m so sorry i let you down
our home is where i put all of my soul inside
that’s when it all fell apart: i guess so did i
it’s strange, ‘cuz the things that we want the most
seem like the ones that be the most hard to hold
yo, and the stronger that your grip is
you can still see it slipping
through your fingertips, like a wet bar of soap
i just wanted to give y’all a home
a safe environment you could be proud to call you own
so forgive me all of them times you felt all alone
and i was too preoccupied with grieving on my own
yeah, my prayer is that they’ll do the opposite
with they own families, the one i failed to provide you with
security and a stable environment for my grandkids to have both of their parents inside of it (uh)

- bumps inf lyrics

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