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burshady - so stupid lyrics

[intro]
i wrote this six months ago, and looking back i should’ve released this a long time ago. this was a warning

[verse 1]
past couple months i’ve been pretty pretty stressed
pretty pretty stressed let me get this off my chest
pretty pretty stressed that i am not the best
pretty pretty stressed cause my dad creates a mess
pretty pretty stressed cause my mom almost died
cause she stresses too every night she cries
and one of these days her heart’s gonna attack
and when that day comes i don’t know who imma smack
my father or sister for giving it to her
maybe i caused it too now what does that infer
that i’m a bad son i know i am
i’m sorry mom i couldn’t be a f#cking man
i’m sorry mom i could never be there
to hug you or hold you or show you i care
look at all this sh#t you have to f#cking bear
i’m so stupid i know none of it’s fair

[hook]
hey look at my smile it’s big and wide
and no those aren’t tears just sweat from my eyes
am i that guy who’s the type to cry
cause i am (d#mn) and i can only ask why
like why can’t i do this
why am i foolish
why do i always act so d#mn stupid (what)
why can’t i do this
why am i foolish
why do i always act so d#mn stupid (f#ck)
get out my head
i know you want me dead
they control me even tho i’m lucid (i said)
get out my head
i know you want me dead
they control me even tho i’m lucid
why can’t i do this
why am i foolish
why do i always act so d#mn stupid (what)
why can’t i do this
why am i foolish
why do i always act so d#mn stupid (f#ck)
get out my head
i know you want me dead
they control me even tho i’m lucid (huh)
get out my head
i know you want me dead
they control me even tho i’m lucid

[bridge]
please

[verse 2]
just the other night i had a breakdown
didn’t want you to see me so i had my face down
hey clown what are you doing i’m talking to you
don’t ignore me luis why are you being so rude
i’m sorry sister i don’t want to misconstrue
cause i know that night i left you confused
about who i am and if i even love you
cause i do, mom and marianne too
but there’s a couple things that i can’t describe
the only thing i know is that i breakdown and cry
i hyperventilate, like my lungs are tied
i cannot concentrate, i feel like i will die
oh my dear family i apologize
for ignoring all of you like all the time
you wanna talk to me but i always decline
then i go to my room where i stay and hide (i’m sorry)

[bridge]
help

[verse 3]
i act like i’m smart but i know that i’m dumb
that’s why my arrogance is the outcome
i say stupid sh#t cause i wanna be fun
then i realize that i’m talking to no one
cause no one’s listening or paying attention
everything i say, i say for pretension
cause all i want is your love and affection
but i look in the mirror and i hate my reflection
why am i always so stupid
could be brain damage when i cracked my head
or the stupid job that i f#cking dread
maybe i need some f#cking meds
just like my #censored# who’s on all of them
i don’t know what to write with this f#cking pen
can’t think of anything i’m stupid
and r#t#rded how is that so
i wish i knew but i f#cking don’t
and how the f#ck am i supposed to grow
when i’m surrounded by people but i feel alone

[verse 4]
i work all day feeling empty and alone
and sh#t doesn’t change when i come home
and when you come home you feel the same
so we go to your mom’s house everyday
it’s just an excuse to get away
cause i need a distraction from all this pain
one of those nights i told you about my dreams
asked you what they mean and how i’m struggling
and then you told me to get therapy
you said i should go get the help i need
but i don’t wanna do that cause that’s scary
i don’t think there’s something wrong with me
but i’m more scared for what i’m gonna do
so maybe i’ll do it for you and you
and save you the trouble for what i’m going through
then hopefully i find out why i’m stupid too

- burshady lyrics

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