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buttons - proud lyrics

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ever since i was young, i learned to fend for myself
found i could get what i wanted if i walked on everyone else
i learned a lie, it was abundantly clear
that i could get what i wanted for what they wanted to hear

and then, i found myself all alone and broken

i don’t wanna hate who i am anymore
i’m sorry for the damage i’ve done
well, i just wanna know that if i were to die tomorrow
i could die happy alone

since then, i’ve been depressed; i’ve got this hole in my chest
all of the bridges i’ve burned have become a smoldering mess
i am a wreck, i need to change who i am
because the boy that i’ve been has made me a terrible man

and now, i find myself all alone and broken

i don’t wanna hate who i am anymore
i’m sorry for the damage i’ve done
well, i just wanna know that if i were to die tomorrow
i could die happy alone

i am spite, i am hate
i am greed and deceit, i am broken and fake
i am hurt, i am pain
i am loss and defeat, i’m a f-cking mistake
i am blind, i am vain
i am death and disease, i am famine and plague
i am guilt, i am shame
but i’m trying to change

i don’t wanna hate who i am anymore
i’m sorry for the damage i’ve done
well, i just wanna know that if i were to die tomorrow
i could die happy alone

well, i just want my parents to be proud of me
proud to see the man i’ve become
well, i just want my mother and father to see i’m trying
and be proud to call me their son
well, i just want my mother and father to see i’m trying
and be proud to call me their son

- buttons lyrics

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