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bxred - paper trail (freestyle) lyrics

[verse]
they all think i’m american, but i’m not, i’m really f+cking foreign
i’ll come through as a samaritan, when i’m out there touring
spent my life making comparison, of people i was adoring
i was low, fooled by arrogance, i’ve spent a while restoring
two nights ago, i came to a conclusion
i’m deluded with envy, jealousy, and confusion
i find it amusing, how, i turn my anger into music
most of the things that i produced, came from something that was disputed
what kind of demon, am i really infused with?
i find it hard choosing my path, i find writing therapeutic and visceral
changed up my act, become way more liberal
that’s a fact, but not really talking political
an abstract of this could be, that i am way more literal
i’ve had multiple experiences change me for the better or worse
when i sit down and write, they like a letter or verse
sometimes i just wanna share my pain, know that my effort came first
i’m not rubbing it off, like if a pepper dispersed
it’s hard keeping up the mask, when i got such darkness behind me
a big part of me died, half a year ago precisely
a traumatizing experience, really f+cked up my psyche
i don’t f+cking care anymore, so everyone can just bite me
last few months i been stressing, never had time to digest it
now i’m sitting here alone, punished for my repressing
all this time where i haven’t thought about it, i thought i was progressing
gotta learn to live with it, cus i can’t escape my depression
all the things that i’m spitting, it’s me sharing the truth
got hundreds of stories that i should spare for the booth
maybe in the future i could be part of helping the youth
help them come to terms with their life, and bearing their juice

- bxred lyrics

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