benjamin dean wilson – so cool lyrics
he crossed his legs in a casual stance
he felt a lot in his heart he couldn’t feel in his pants
he took a pill twice a day in case circ-mstance threw him a bone
saw palmetto, biotin shampoo,
he spent a lot of time learning there was nothing he could do
the european hats and the beard he grew gave him a look all of his own
and he drove a red corvette, he liked to think about that…
if anybody ever asked him if he drove a red corvette he’d say, “i do as a matter of fact.”
and when he brought up to the board the question of the school uniforms
the women agreed by nodding their heads and the men did their best not to grin and said, “that sounds good!”
good as he was, yanno he never found cause to brag (believe me he could if he wanted to)
and when he was walking past the lockers he swore he heard suzanne whisper:
“that mr. green, he’s so cool.”
he was so cool
he crossed his legs in a casual stance
the sleepy chaperone sat amongst the potted plants
as he sipped something pink and said “what they call a dance, i call something else…”
mrs. hirsch, the nurse, said “yes, but i enjoy it.”
coach greg tapped his leg, no he wasn’t above it
mr. green said he’d seen something in national geographic
that reminded him of the way the black girls dance
and, boy, did he ever enjoy it
everybody loves to watch black girls dance
(get down, shawty! shake that money maker!)
he was nearly famous once for playing mostly b side cuts
yeah, spinnin’ steve played the songs you knew and loved but didn’t hear on the dial that much
and as his backside grew so did his blue tattoo
which drew s&m in a heart forever
but m married jim and s married heather
either way it funny
more importantly
it was cool!
he was so cool
“oh, steve, please… as you go could you refill these?”
why most certainly he would, but he would not… he forgot…
seeing suzanne spin in her satin dress
the strobe struck her cheek and the sweat on her chest
not much longer could he take it
he made a b line towards the toilet
…to have some private thoughts in private…
(she is such a lovely lady…. with lovely eyes… …and with just the perfect body…. praise the lord!)
he spread his legs in a primitive stance
let relax the muscle he had held in a flex
then addressed the mess that was fresh on his hands with soap and hot water
he checked his teeth and all, but before he did leave
he heard a shriek from the stall like you wouldn’t believe
was this a real danger call or just a joke on steve? he wondered should he even bother?
but, boy, was he glad that he did!
for taped to the toilet seat lid
where the hands in ties and the purple thighs of the special needs kid
in a mad attempt to come undone that boy had nearly bit off his tongue
now steve’s shirt and face got soaked in blood
as he cut through the tape and said, “hang in there, bud…”
then picked him up like a baby
“we’re gonna make this right, you hear me?”
“somehow or someway those cowards are gonna have to pay!”
he told the sea high press in an interview
but even in the midst of his p-ssion they say he never lost his ration
he didn’t get down or dejected
he remained calm and collected
most of all he stayed cool
(then suzanne and the cheerleaders probably led the school in a chant which celebrated just how cool steve green was)
h-e-w-a-double s-o-c-double o-l he was cool!
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