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caddicarus - bible lyrics

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[intro: caddy]
behold, my children
caddy is on the mic

[ollie]
hey, wait a minute! i was gonna do the intro!

[caddy]
well, tough luck, babycakes. this is my video

[ollie]
yeah, but you always take the thunder

[caddy]
not my fault i’m so conductive

[ollie]
oh for god’s sake!

[caddy]
okay, okay, go ahead

[ollie]
thank you. caddicarus, 2k12. you ready? let’s go!

[verse 1: caddy]
in the beginning
god created the heavens and the earth
and in a barn a group of lowly shepherds saw the birth
of jesus!
my man, my brother
wait. how was he born?
i thought he had a virgin mother
‘hark!’ the herald angels sing
behold the lord, he’s everything
science is far too unreliable
that’s why you gotta pay close attention to the
b+b+b+b+bible!

[verse 2: caddy]
new testament and old
every single reading is a legend to be told
disobey the teachings and you’re a failure
can i get a hallelujah?!

thou shalt not k!ll, thou shalt not steal
journey forth and buy that meal deal
b+tch+ass mother, consider yourself smitten
your soul belongs to me
oh my god, a wittle kitten!

[verse 3: caddy]
the number of pages:
one thousand three hundred
i went to the library
i roared, i thundered

how many books is that?
don’t give me a tricks!
then she looked up on her data
and she answered, “sixty+six”
good god!
well, i guess you can’t argue
with £3.99, that is m+th+f+ckin’ value!

- caddicarus lyrics

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