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caleb carter music - thoughts from january 8th, 2019 lyrics

i’m running from myself
struggling to keep my faith where it needs to be
struggling to keep my mental sanity
loneliness really hits hard
when you can’t find yourself in the first place
distractions used to numb the fear and anxiety
god calls me to rely on him and i know i should really trust and rely
but it’s hard
my mind is out to get me and my faith
why is my mind the thing that i struggle with most?
insecurities about this body i live in
when the culture pushes such perfection and beauty upon us
who am i actually living for?
this system, culture we live in?
or god?
i’m running from you god
when i should be running for you
i feel like i’m stuck
life is moving faster than me
i’m being left behind and there’s nothing i can do about it
putting stress on myself to be an outgoing person
when i know that’s not who i really am
they say you can’t make it anywhere in life, being quiet and shy
i push myself harder in social situations, but that fails every time
will i ever find that person meant for me?
i don’t know
why are all these thoughts, going through my mind at the same time?
i can’t decipher all these emotions
im probably just overreacting
everyone around seems to have it all figured out
looking down on my last album, saying it was too sad
i’m sorry i let you down with these feelings i have
i’m sorry i’m not perfect
i’m sorry i’m not worth it
i’m sorry that i don’t have uplifting thoughts all the time
i don’t express em’
i just keep it bottled inside and hid away
so n0body can see
i don’t let anyone know all these feelings i struggle with
till i put it in a song
then you start to judge
no he’s fine, he’s happy in person
you’re right, i am
but i’m sad inside my mind

i hear a voice from far away
you’re gonna see, you’re gonna see better days

- caleb carter music lyrics

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