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caleb kitchen - fake mustache lyrics

[verse]
(f+ck)
hey everybody meet katy
she likes to go by kate
she considers herself a very smart lady
but right now she’s on a date
with a man that has some nice facial hair
above his lip, things are going great
it’s too good to be true, something’s off
is he poor? is he a bore? is he even straight?

but kate feels a rush
when he invites her back to his place
she agrees to go
but he tears the mustache off his face

katy sees and screams
but it’s too late, therе’s a slash!
kate when on a date with tеd bundy
wearin’ a fake mustache, mustache
fake mustache

ted bundy wearing a fake mustache
didn’t see it coming
too slow when she was running
she got stabbed in the ass
bleeding from her b+tt cheeks
[transition]
fake mustache
fake mustache
fake mustache
oh, ted bundy
what the h+ll, man?
you’re an assh0l+

[verse 2]
he faked his death by drawing a face on an apple
taped to a body of a mannequin
that psychopathic rascal!

so he roams free
k!llin’ a bunch of women and sh+t
with a dollar tree mustache
he roams free to commit

these crimes
without doing time
too good of a disguise
hides the murder in his eyes
until it’s too late to realize
ah, sh+t, that’s ted bundy

f+ck, now there’s a knife
in my wife’s assh0l+
not cool ted bundy
go back to the north pole!
what?
yeah, ted bundy worked with santa clause
you didn’t know?
he was an elf until they discovered elf bodies in the snow

[bridge]
(no way, you’re lying)
dude, i ain’t even playing, man
(no way, you’re totally lying)
dude, i’m not lying
(dude that isn’t even true, you’re playing)
it’s totally true, dude, he worked with santa clause
(that’s+ that’s false, dude)
ted bundy worked with santa clause
(where are you getting your information?)
man, ted bundy worked with santa clause
(that can’t be true, dude)
dude
(no way, man)
yeah, dude
(i think he’s human)
no, dude, he’s an elf

[outro]
ted bundy worked with santa clause
ted bundy worked with santa clause
now he has a fake mustache
ah sh+t, ted bundy, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, ted bundy, fake mustache
santa clause, north pole
knife in my wife’s assh0l+

- caleb kitchen lyrics

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