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calvin stephano - mend. lyrics

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lately i feel like i can’t keep focus
i’m an emotion addict
kind of impulsive and broken

(right)
monetize my emotions
distract myself with projects
i am scared to remember
but i am scared to forget
and it seems black and white
’til i ease my mind and rest

i deflect everything
’cause when i reflect, i overthink
i wanna be inspiring
but i can hardly motivate myself, please

heavy head and a foggy mind,
it weighed too much so i left it behind

i’ll joke that i hate school
but it’s more that i hate me, see:
i just turned eighteen and if it weren’t for my 5150
i’d buy a gun right now and shoot my brains out
but i’m not looney, i’m just joking around

’cause irrationality is better as fantasy
i’m an attention wh0re who wants nothing more than to have some success
and i can’t settle for less
and i dont want to die just yet
i just want to be good enough to sing to you, my friend
and i just want to feel good enough to love again
and maybe god knows, i’ll make amends to everyone i miss



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