calvitron - news report (skit) lyrics
news reporter: h-llo everybody, this is hhs news broadcasting, bringing you news of the horrendous tragedy that happened today at makon bank today where a robbery has taken place. the police had to step in, and the police and the robber got into a full out shootout. it ended in the robber’s arrest with 1 fatality and 3 injured. i have an eyewitness here to talk about what he saw. can you tell us your name?
tyrone: tyrone
news reporter: hey tyrone, can you please explain to us your thoughts on this?
tyrone: you know man, it’s really sad. i had just had a fight with one of my best friends and i went to go pick up some money from the bank when this dude that had apparently seen that there was a bank robbery there, and could tell that i was headed there. he came up to me and warned me not to go in there cause there was a robbery going on in there. i didn’t believe him at first, but when i started to see a bunch of cop cars pull over, i was like holy cr-p, he was right. the saddest thing about this is that the one dude that got k!lled happened to be my best friends brother man, so i feel way bad for him. i hope that he can forgive me for the argument we had
news reporter: anything else you want to say about what happened?
tyrone: yeah, i feel like we should start treating each other better than we are right now. cause if you think about what caused it, the robber was probably broke and had to find a way to pay the bills, so this seemed like the only way to pay the bills, so this seemed like the only way he could get what he needed. if people were willing to help him with some of his needs though, then maybe he wouldn’t have felt the need to do this. then the bank wouldn’t have been robbed and my best friends brother wouldn’t have died. i know i’m just another person ranting about how you should help others, but it wouldn’t be said this many times if it wasn’t important. that’s all i have to say about it
news reporter: thank you very much, coming up next is on how the president spent 3 billion taxpayers dollars on advertising his stakes. but first, we’ll hear a word from our loyal sponsors. thank you for tuning into hhs news and remember, you heard it here first
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