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canadian softball - fund me lyrics

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it’s never easy figuring out
the best possible way to ask for money
but you know what they say
“plain solicitation marauding under the thin veil of a music video might work”

you see, i’ve had this idea
to make an alb-m for quite a while
an alb-m full of spoken word, melancholic moments
sh-tty prep-b-scent vocals, references to the upper midwest
an inescapable atmospheric guitar tones

i’ve always thought that ‘canadian softball’ had more to offer
than a dramatic compilation of jaden smith tweets
is it that facetious to say that the emo revival
could use some reviving?

i’ve crowdfunded in the past with ‘beating a dead horse’ and ‘friendville’
both of which did pretty well, i guess
with twenty thousand dollars we can finally experience the potential
of a full length ‘canadian softball’ alb-m
and i know what you’re thinking
“jarrod, that’s a cr-p-ton of money, wh-why the h-ll do you need that much?”

keep in mind that your contribution is in no way a donation
as any contribution will earn you a tangible product
you’re literally buying something, so don’t forget that

for ten dollars you can get a download of the alb-m
fifteen dollars gets you a physical cd
twenty-five dollars for the alb-m with a t-shirt
or perhaps a little more for a rad dad hat

just one dollar for a shout out in a video, every cent helps
the perks also include signed posters, wall flags, and skype sessions
and if you’re willing to fork out a little extra
i will literally bake a tater tot hot dish and bring it to you
it’s a minnesotan thing i guess

although only a portion of the funds raised
go into producing the alb-m
take note of the other expenses which include
media, publishing, perk fulfilment, various fees and taxes

the reward fulfilment cost alone for ‘friendville’
ended up being over fourteen-thousand dollars
writing that cheque gave me debilitating anxiety

and in case you’re not sold yet, here’s the real treat
if the project gets funded over thirty-thousand dollars
i will take the band on tour
that’s not a “maybe”, i will definitely take the band
on a live tour if this goal is achieved
might even play a ‘sunrise skater kids’ song or two

getting back to the point, you only have thirty days to contribute
if we don’t reach the goal in thirty days
everybody gets their money back and the project is cancelled
that would really suck

head over to my crowdfunding page now to get your perk
and help make this alb-m a reality
that could even be ready for release as early as april
but we’ll have to wait and see

well, what are you waiting for?
there should be a link in the description of this video
you should probably go click that link at some point

- canadian softball lyrics

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