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candy panic attack - on the dole at christmas lyrics

i tried working in a garage but i kicked the b+st+rd’s jack
i tried working in an office but it’s such a f+cking drag
then i tried a stint in retail but tried to sell the boss
then i tried out in a pub but i just kept on getting sloshed

now we’re getting close to christmas and i just can’t get a job
and my mama wants to know why i am such a f+cking slob
i’m on the dole
on the dole at christmas

well i couldn’t be a gardener because muck gives me the fear
and i couldn’t join the army because i’m a f+cking queer
and i couldn’t be a tailor ‘cos i’d come out in a rash
and i can’t work in a bank ‘cos i’d just make off with thе cash

now it’s getting close to christmas and i just can’t keep a job
and my mama wants to know why i am such a f+cking slob
i’m on the dolе
on the dole at christmas

was a pirate dj but they wouldn’t let me swab the deck
oh, and then i was a barber but i kept slitting people’s necks
then i worked at b&q but i just couldn’t put up a shelf
then i tried an estate agents but i couldn’t live with myself

now it’s getting close to christmas and i just can’t keep a job
and my mama wants to know why i am such a f+cking slob
i’m on the dole, on the dole
i’m on the dole, on the dole
i’m on the dole, on the dole
waaahhh!
well i’m really sorry mama but can’t seem to do right
and no+one’s getting presents and i’m all christmas night
i’m on the dole, on the dole
i’m on the dole, on the dole
i’m on the dole, on the dole at christmas!

- candy panic attack lyrics

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