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candypants - nerdy boys lyrics

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he goes 40 on the freeway
he plans his day ’round ebay
he’d rather watch discovery channel than an instant replay
steve jobs is his swami
he folds like origami
i want to bite his pencil neck and make him cry for mommy

just four little eyes and i’m weak in the knees
i want to live his junior high fantasies
just one giant brain and i’m his unopened toy
i’m just a sucker for a nerdy boy

he thinks dna is pretty
cgi makes him giddy
he’ll only listen to the mono version of surf city
he smells like hai karate
says mulder wasn’t dotty
i want to rip the clothes right off his ectomorphic body

just four little eyes and i’m weak in the knees
i want to live his junior high fantasies
just one giant brain and i’m his unopened toy
i’m just a sucker for a nerdy boy

his high water pants
the way he can’t dance
if he wants romance
i say beam me up

you’re suave and attaching
your socks are always matching
if you want me, better hope myopia is catching
’cause i don’t want an athlete
i tingle for a mathlete
he can count on me to give his head the loving that it needs

just four little eyes and i’m weak in the knees
i want to live his junior high fantasies
just one giant brain i’m his collectable toy
i am a sucker for a nerdy boy
for a nerdy boy
i want a nerdy boy
a dirty nerdy boy

(spoken)
why don’t you take off those tighty-whities?
no, i don’t think your b-tt looks pasty
it reminds me of the sands of tattooine
these sheets are very unusual — is any part of you bionic?
ooh!
oh!
(pant)
(pant)
(pant)
(pant)
(cough)
(cough)
i think i need to borrow your inhaler!



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