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cannonball statman - ohio lyrics

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we can’t live according to your archaic standard
it is what it is when it is it even when it isn’t

i was in ohio
i went walking in the woods
drinking ginger ale
and talking about my feelings

when up to me there appeared this old man
with a small dog
the dog began barking up my leg
speaking in a human voice

he said “i am rupert murdoch, and this is my lawn”
i said “hey man
dog
rotting oozing castrated fecal matter

this lawn is my lawn
this lawn is your lawn
from california
to the gr-ss we’re standing on
from the redwood forest
to the arctic circle
this was made for everybody”

i poured the remainder of my ginger ale
upon the small dog
he disintegrated into a corpse the size of a subatomic particle
i continued walking in the woods
drinking ginger ale
and talking about my feelings

the man on the train grabbed my brain
i grabbed his throat
he threw up
and i thought it was me
so i cleaned it up
i said “i cleaned it up
i ran the entire length, width, and height of manhattan
in a matter of minutes
now i’m ready for the die-off
get ready!”

the man on the bus went nuts
stabbed the driver in the chest
the bus stopped
everybody got late

i had this crazy dream last night where
i was the driver
got stabbed in the heart
i died

i saw my soul flying out of the hole in my chest into the air
flew uptown took a sharp left into the ground without a sound
into riverside park

- cannonball statman lyrics

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