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carbon monoxide - epilogue lyrics

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i learned i wasn’t worthy
before i learned to breathe
i’ve unraveled all that’s hurt me
i mourned what i believed

when i lived beyond my worship
learned it was worth it
i left it all behind
a life beyond the conscious mind

++

i grew up loving danger
and rose+tinted red flags
and when i was made a stranger
i knew to bare my fangs

all that work to trust a smile
it took a while
it was a way of life
my first love was a sharpened knifе

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alive and well
through my neural circuitry
thе world that held your
memory
but you’ll forever
remain in the past
there’s no room
for me in that

++

answers i seek
from beyond my mind
might not be found in this
lifetime

it’s not my turn
to see what’s in the light
so i’ll sleep
another night

++

through pain i was defined
so i hadn’t been so kind
all the ways i could say sorry
for sharing our body

i hope you know that it
wasn’t your fault when
i had tried to hurt you
in misguided defense
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pain i couldn’t foresee
hating you would’ve been easy
but i know we’re both healing
and i’m still breathing

i hope you know that it
wasn’t your fault that
i thought you were evil
for feeling attacked

++

stuck in a fantasy
my vanity
it’s not so pretty
in reality

craving all that hurt me
didn’t make you happy
i want to see what you could see
all the good inside of me

- carbon monoxide lyrics

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