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carbon monoxide - heliophobia lyrics

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breaking my spine
upsetting all the skies
in the world living behind my eyes
my tongue is cracked, so paralyzed

reality is a myth
not the first, and not the fifth
dangers hiding in my ears
but if i pray, they disappear

counting time on dandelions
oh, i pray, you wouldn’t find them
i know deep inside your heart
you loved to tear me apart

straight inside your eyes
that’s where the sun still resides
despite just unravelling the thread
you still scare me whеn you’re dead

breaking
past my mind
your fragile soul
and d+mnеd old tolls in
vicious
cycles, oh so
scrying, crying
undignifying
praying
of no use, those
worthless words
infringe my tongue, and
pointless
games, i’m trapped in
fear ensnared
in a hundred years, so
give up
repent your flaws
mind your applause
you know
without me you’ve nowhere to go

i really should’ve know you’re sick
far better than anyone
truly though i was just a kid
and you did it just for fun

so when you look behind the sun
do you see the monster i fear?
and when you look inside my gore
do you see my past disappear?
give me a mirror all you’ll see
the rotting corpse of the divine
but as i peer beneath the glass
i see my sins so serpentine

playing it again
in my head, over in repeat
memories i wish weren’t mine
but you tell me it’ll all be fine

it’s all for the greater good
you see, i’m misunderstood
i’m your savior
sand and stone
you wouldn’t dare
leave me alone
counting time on dandelions
citing hymns on low+tide shores
but time just never seems to slow
in my tears it overflows

straight inside your eyes
that’s where the sun still resides
and through years and years
of rotten dread
you still scare me though you’re dead

faking
cynicism
no more hope in
the lie we call
heaven
tired of the
lying, spying
so mistifying!
danger
neverending
at any time
i’m never safe
blinded
behind my back
i’m followed by
abstract eyes, so
nightmares
prophesized that i deserve it
i know
i’ve lost the right to my halo

i confess it took some time
for me to realize the sin
that you never really cared
about the h+ll you put me in

so when you look behind the sun
do you see the monster i fear?
and when you look inside my gore
do you see my past disappear?
give me a mirror all you’ll see
the rotting corpse of the divine
but as i peer beneath the glass
i see my sins so serpentine

rusty nails i taste on my tongue
melting skies that upset my lungs
scared of the sun like some coward
but i really fear the power
all this time i’ve felt so worthless
almost died in all this nonsense
then about me, what does it tell?
i’m more scared of going to h+ll

so when you look behind the moon
do you see your tainted heirloom?
and when you look inside my gore
i’m not as ‘saved’ as you’ve presumed
give me a mirror all you’ll see
my shame, my soul that i can’t stand
but as i peer deeper into
i feel as dirty as you planned

so when you look behind my stars
do you see worlds littered in scars?
and how could i ever admit?
i played the devil’s advocate
give me a mirror i’ll break it
tear it apart with my bare hands
how miserable that you’ve made me
i don’t think you understand

- carbon monoxide lyrics

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