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carson shmyr - magnification lyrics

you magnified the missing properties
that i strove to find in this love of mine
and you cut your hair and told me that i was blind
when for the first time i finally felt like i could see
in perfect resolution
the conclusion of a beautiful mess
of mixed+up priorities and downright lies
that have relentlessly placed pressure on my mind
when i fell asleep at night

i swore to love you until i die
but i was afraid that when the casket shut
there’d be no love left in this hеart of mine
just an empty reflеction of the day that you stopped trying
when they write our romantic obituary
and the public tries to read between the lines
they might see me as the bad guy
when i was just trying to survive

i watched the walls of this house we built turn to sand
even in my darkest moments, i tried to stand
so when the walls caved in, maybe i can understand
the frivolous selection of words you chose to express with your hands
as mine strike another chord as they land
and soft ballet fills the room in your absence
i came to realize that i was the sickness
that plagued you when you cried
when you sought forgiveness
and my cold heart couldn’t see you trying

so i shifted the blame to another place
and pretended that i was alright
but to see you in his arms
filled my veins with cyanide

this is not a love song
it’s a confession of my sins
a proctor and indoctrinate
an absolvent of my refusal to let you back in

when the cartoons turned to talk shows, and i turned into him
i let my mind erase the memories for fear that i’d began
to drop the veil that hid my deepest fear
the one they’d lower me below someday you’d follow

but the earth would seamlessly undo what we had sewn
and when the roots began to use our bodies as a throne
i’d be a dandelion, and you’d become a deadly rose
and then your th+rn would pr+ck my stem
and fill my body once again
with rage and desperate attempts to try and finally make amends
i saw that you had all the beauty
of the seeds that we had planted in our garden
and that the lack of love i gave to show left something to be wanted

i thought i’d slow dance to my own song at our wedding
the sound of rising scales and belted chants to signify the ending
of troubled times we rectified when we’d say we’re never parting
now it’s a ghost of all the love you lost when you finally departed

and i’m not mad
if i was you, i’d be standing there too
watching me buried in this garden
i’d hoped that i’d become a rose and someday see a dandelion

but oh, how sweet it’d be to pr+ck my tongue
and end it where it started
to cut my words and snip my petals where they sprouted

because i magnified the missing properties
that i strove to find in this love of mine
when you cut your hair because you thought that i would hate it
you were blind to the reason our love was ever created

so i drew the conclusion of a beautiful mess
of perfections and professions of love and infatuants
i guess i’d wish i never fell in love if i knew that this would happen
i swore to love you until i died
but i was afraid that when the casket shut
there’d be no love left in your heart
just the sudden realization that i was a waste of all that time

and you deserve to find your “happy” and hold him ever tight
but i knew that i would never be him
no matter how hard i tried

- carson shmyr lyrics

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