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cartersab - losing my faith lyrics

{verse: cartersab}
think i’m losing all my faith
people makin mistakes
worshippers telling cancer patients to give them their money
god is a concept not a treatment no that is not funny
i’m overwhelmed by so many ideologies i
just want to take a look at my problems straight in the eye
don’t think i need a religion to help me contemplate
retrospection causing me to confirm my fate
if i fix my depression i need to start anew
but that’s the hardest f+ckin thing i’ve ever tried to do
i already know what my life will turn out to be
go to college get a job and die man that’s what i see
too intelligent to be complacent feels like a curse
having no self worth is so much worse
like everyone i want to be special, unique
but i don’t know how i just feel like a freak
i will do everything i can to live my life antithetically
but i feel trapped in the same path that is forever me
we all live the same life then die, save for a few
a few figures who made an impact like i want to do
think i have something to give the world just don’t know what it is
i want a legacy to leave behind to my kids
but will i even have kids in my lifetime?
i’m incapable of love just bidin my time
i know love is real that’s the only thing i’m sure of
but i know i won’t find it before i go above
but will i go above? no i’ll go below
livin my life like it’s a mothaf+ckin drama show
want to be a good person but i feel like i’m not
i’m selfish when i’m alone or if i’m put on the spot
i want to like people and give them my all
but all my relationships failed they’re destined to fall
i think it’s me i’m impossible to love
but i’m also to inept to feel any love
i’ve tried but never felt no matter how bad i wanted to
i think the problem is me man i’m feelin blue
girls say they love me and i wish i that could say the same
i just can’t and i don’t know what or who to blame
it’s the way my thoughts and feelings are manifested
there’s something wrong with me mentally i think i need to be tested
think i’m losin my faith
people makin mistakes
i’m just wantin to be
but feelin lost in the see
no one wants to be me
but i want to be them
lookin at the roots of my problems trying to find the stem
young me never thought i’d be being like this
young me really faded so deep in the mist
current me wondering why i even exist
unless i love her then no i don’t wanna be kissed

- cartersab lyrics

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