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casisdead - simon lyrics

[verse – cas portraying simon]
i threw my life away
night and day i pipe away
left my family feeling some type of way
the powder’s grey, my eyes are grey, the skies are grey
i like the h, i like the yay
but i’d like to say i’m different now, i’m not the same
i’ve changed
i’m no longer that man who would dig through the bins just to find some change
people still walk past me in the street and say i look strange
my skin’s dry, my hair’s matted, my clothes are covered in stains
all this methadone that i’m taking, it can’t get rid of these pains
it was too much for my friend -blank- he blew out his brains
wife took my kids away
but i thought i saw my son just last sat-rday
i waved but he stared at me then looked away
could of been him, he always kept his feelings locked away
track marks down to my fist, i stink of p-ss
i’ve got the sh-ts and my pants have got skids
it ain’t true i swear i never touched them kids
i was just trying to show them something, i tripped and my right hand slipped
robbed a post office, my only goal was to fail
swear i did it just so i could go back to jail
three square meals a day, it’s my favourite hotel
it’s hard to use in there so i couldn’t wait to get out my cell
back to grifting, shop lifting and sifting through the trash
there wasn’t many things that i wouldn’t do for cash
my lowest point was when i had to give this one dealer a bash
he wasn’t even a smack, he only had this tiniest bit of ash
slept in the doorway of the local
just so the local youts wouldn’t catch me and stomp me out
i’ll cut myself so i can stay in hospital for a night
it’s cold outside, or at least until these shakes subside
robbed a pregnant woman’s smartphone, i had to do it
how do you watch tv? i can’t figure out how to do it
sold it at 2:30 for 40 and by 3 i blew it
it wasn’t even enough, arrgh ya see i f-cking knew it
i need to cure my sickness but no money for a prescription
deep in my addiction and cursed with this affliction
chances of going back to work fade with each conviction
everyone just writes you off, with such conviction
the council won’t house me no more, they’ve stopped the bedsits
kicked me out last time, i ain’t slept in a bed since
you would think i would have learnt from one of these f-cking lessons
instead i’m steady headed to my eventual obsolescence
the light of the lord shines bright and with such fluorescence
except on me, my life’s been quite unpleasant
excuse me for being depressing, how are you? how was your xmas? get any presents?
i found some chicken br–sts round the back of m&s
it was freezing, i was in a dirty vest
i cooked them in the corner, f-cking burnt my chest
think about my daughter and it f-cking burns my chest
if i don’t drink a bit of water first, it hurts my head
anyway, i digress
to answer your question, yes
i’ll take one white and two b
those ones there look the best

(nah you can’t have those ones, take this one here, that one)

i’m a bit short, i’ll link you back with the rest

(yeah now, give us it or f-ck off)

- casisdead lyrics

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