cast of galavant - jackass in a can lyrics
squire 1: well, another party for the fancy folk that get to bathe once a month. oh, that reminds me: did you hear about the knight that got off his high horse?
galavant: no.
squire 1: me neither. -all squires laugh-
squire 2: knights suck.
galvant: they’re not all that bad are they?
squire 3: sure, they are.
squire 4: worse even.
squire 4: your average knight in armor, he’s utterly the pits
squire 3: his ego’s so humungous, his helmet barely fits
squire 4: he wears two tons of padding and thinks he’s quite the man
squire 2: he’s nothing but a jack-ss in a fancy metal can
squires 1-4: a jack-ss in a can
there’s nothing worser than
some high and mighty jack-ss in a can
(all spit in their cups)
squire 1: my master hasn’t had a sip of his port without my spit in it in years. i got him cravin’ it now. i gave him two months without it, he said it didn’t taste right. -all squires laugh-
squire 2: -to galavant- so, what about your knight? is he as bad as ours?
galavant: uh, yeah, sure.
there’s all that fame and glory
squire 1: the smell, though? not so great
galavant: and then those big, long lances
squire 3: yeah, to overcompensate
galavant: the glamor and swagger
squire 1: yeah, i’m not really a fan
galavant: he’s quite–
squire 2: a major dillweed?
galavant: -resigned- in a fancy metal can
squires and galavant: a dillweed in a can
there’s nothing lamer than
a condescending dillweed in a can
squire 1: and who does all the planning
squire 2: yeah, and who does all the work
galavant: true
squire 4: who gets no vacation
squire 3: not one pay raise, not one perk
galavant: good point
squire 2: whose third rate insurance comes without a dental plan
galavant: your average, humble squire
all: and not the meathead in the can
that jerkface in a can
there’s nothing sadder than
galavant: some over muscled, chauvinistic,
self indulgent, egotistic,
stingy, prissy, narcississy
all: jack-ss in a can!
galavant: oh, my god. that’s me.
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