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catherine rose - masked without a voice lyrics

[intro]
the truth i hold, took years to unfold
locked up my memories and never told
now i speak, for i am done being weak
a story i will tell, awakening the pits of h-ll

[verse 1]
pinned against the wall, being six a little small
tongue against my chest, you can imagine the rest
touching, feeling, my eyes rolling to the ceiling
i push away, forced down, i am here to stay and pray
day and night, always full of fright
kissing, sucking, nonstop f-cking
crying, weeping, always happened when they’re sleeping
was i that bad of a kid?
why was i auctioned with this demon to bid?
sold to the pervert in the chair
dragged off stage by the strings of my hair
no one cares about you he said
cutting my wrist wishing i were dead
he’s right, you see, all these years no one gave a d-mn about me
a puppet i am to him, dangling from limb to limb

[interlude]
but i can’t bear this suffering
masked without a voice

[verse 2]
the years p-ss on by, i have no tears left to cry
i escaped this hate, no more videos left to tape
visits became less and less, i’m starting to grow up a mess
drinking here, smoking there, my life is hard to share
making friends with the junkies
parading around town like diseased monkeys
every day that goes by, i feel ashamed and left to die
i tried to share my story to those i trust
but all they wanted was my l-st
met a boy, come to find out i was just his toy
i wanted to help his soul, but instead i paid his toll
being punched in the face, always leaving with a trace
left in harm’s way, wasted with no place to stay
wandering the streets, giving myself to men with sheets
crying while we f-ck, gasping for air the more they struck

[interlude]
but i have to bear this suffering
masked without a voice

[verse 3]
i always gave myself for free
it was you who ashamed me
no respect for myself
no metal to place on a shelf
falling down to dirt, clothes stained, blood stained skirt
the cold making me shiver
drinking the flask and damaging my liver
why should i care about my life
here i go carving myself with a knife
blood dripping down my thigh
hatred fills me like a high
all numb, can’t feel a thing
the mourning doves ready to sing
i am not dead, just hanging by a thread
the ambulance speeding so fast
all i can see is a movie of my past
all st-tched up ready to go
put your cloths on you stupid hoe
here i go this life i lead to know
take a seat and watch the show
dancing for their eyes to see
please god set me free
a man took me home that night
my eyes sparkled full of fright
he was addicted to drugs, veins shot up, full of bugs
leaving me in the ghettos, dreaming i was frol!cking in meadows
touched and abused i was, just so he could get a meth buzz
smoke filled air, the smell is hard to bear
watching him fly like a kite, he cheers me while i get f-cked in the night

[interlude]
but i love crying in sufferings
still masked without a voice

[verse 4]
his eyes so black, pinning me like a thumbtack
the years p-ssed on by, still living my past as a lie
i did survive this life, i have now retired my knife
scars still there, people look at them and stare
i am sad at times, past full of all these crimes
smiling to all, putting my hands out, breaking my fall
i would like to share my voice, it’s up to me to make that choice
all my life i was masked without a voice

- catherine rose lyrics

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