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cayea - paying dues lyrics

[verse 1]
i’m trying to pay my rent, pay my dues
pay for the drugs that i gave in to
spent a pay check on some new tight shoes
now i eat cereal at dinner time too
still layin’ low with the winter time crew
looking for aphrodite, one day i’ll find you
i would go wherever you are if only i knew
but it takes time boo, i know when i see you i’mma say woah
skin tight dress like woah, body something i ain’t never seen before
make my brain straight blow, maybe i’mma meet you at a show
but until then i’mma focus on the flow, and i mean it
my mind is such a board game, tell me have you seen it?
battling my judgement, giving in to demons
i’m sick of all the other parts of life intervening
‘cause the music and rhyme is when i find true meaning
television’s got my generation near sighted
part of me wants to stay out but i fight it
for what? a big mac and a few bucks?
a bud light and a new truck? d-mn, what the f-ck?
everything’s all messed up, but speaking my mind ain’t tough
i almost gave up on something i’ve never tried for
something i rely on, something i would die for
smashed in the side door, looking in the sky for
an answer to rid of the cancer that spread
in my mentality, skewed my reality
who would know this fallacy almost lead to fatality?
ninety-five in a thirty-five, momma cried
yet i couldn’t even look her in the eyes
all shame that followed i chased with a swallow
but i never found a letter in the bottom of a bottle, no
everything from then on i just let it go
and anything that hurts i don’t let it show
i could give a f-ck ’bout the radio
‘cause anything i have to say is something they ain’t even know
if you remember one it’s just breathe and
don’t get too caught up living in the past
my love didn’t last, but if it didn’t p-ss
it never would’ve lead me to this task, and that’s to ask

[bridge]
why am i here? what is god?
am i just some stardust or am i more?
i’m spinning around, losing my ground
i need you right now, oh

[hook]
won’t you hold me when i’m down, lift me when i’m down
please don’t let me drown, i don’t want to drown
won’t you catch me before i fall, i’m trying to give my all
searching for something, something
[2x]

[verse 2]
wasting away, wasting my days
hoping i’mma make it out this mundane phase
i keep having dreams on a one way train
where i end up at a station in a no name place
as a no name race and i’m caught up in a chase
got the evils of the world creeping at a fast pace
wake up in fl-ster, sweat on my face
i ain’t too religious but i still say grace
and i don’t know, why even try when the sky
is all covered in smog making clouds’ eyes cry
bouncing my soul off a man-made trampoline
on my heart i can feel the devil trampling
on my life i see politicians gambling
will i make it past 30 or not?
watch ‘em bet another m and simply throw it in the pot
so if i smoke pot they will see me get locked
hope not, so i won’t stop, ’til i’m on top
no cop i won’t coop., gimme that shock
if it need be, giving into fighting that’s easy
but i got too many other people that really need me
so beating on my -ss is a freebie, proceed please
but remember that we’re on the same team
and red white and blue are the colors i am bleeding
fear is what you’re fleeting, propaganda’s what you’re eating

[bridge]
why am i here? what is god?
am i just some stardust or am i more?
i’m spinning around, losing my ground
i need you right now, oh

- cayea lyrics

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