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chaddy champú - suicide||smiling depression lyrics

—
suicide
prod. rodrigo muñiz
—

(prod. tag)
ninety eight
yo, yo. what up? out here

[intro]
smoke another one
’cause i never made the cut
take it to the lungs
cause i don’t have a heart

rather go slowly
instead of acting tough
something’s not right (uh huh)
it’s not enough

[pre-hook]
so i drive more reckless
smoke more conscious
gotta hurt myself, just so i can k!ll the monster

the whisper is constant
don’t sleep at night
something’s not right
i don’t wanna fight

[verse 1]
i woosah about 9 times a day
i’m trying hard to stay calm
i’m tryna do what i have to
so i can get what i want
and is it really a want?
when it’s the sh-t that i need
i fantasize having funds
to fund my family dream
i don’t have the energy, my own worst enemy
i am not okay
but f-ck it, i can pretend to be
dealing with the stresses, coping with the strain
how many times i gotta say this?
“i don’t feel sane!”

i lay in bed (bed), live in my head (head)
i hang myself daily (yeah)
i love the taste of death (uh huh)
i’m on the ledge, i live on the edge
in hopes that i slip (whoo) and meet with my end

smoke cigarette, to f-ck up my chest
“have faith in god, there’s no need to stress.”
that’s what they said, when i was in church (mxm)
but i don’t trust the pastor, it just made it worse

[pre-hook]
so i smoke another one
’cause i never made the cut
take it to the lungs
cause i don’t have a heart

rather go slowly
instead of acting tough
something’s not right
it’s not enough

[hook]
so i drive more reckless
smoke more conscious
gotta hurt myself, just so i can k!ll the monster

the whisper is constant
no sleep at night
something’s not right
but i don’t wanna fight

[outro]
i’d rather just die, inside…

i’d just rather die, inside, yeah
i don’t wanna cry or smile, yeah
uh huh, i’d just rather die, inside
yeah

[my conversation with apostle ashley sauls]
uh hmm

but if you really go to a relationship with god then it comes to the place where, you… you, this is spiritualism, where you cannot explain god
uhmm

neither do you attempt to do it
uh hmm

because what religion actually is, no matter what face you give it, but on it’s foundational premise…
“what religion is”, my definition…

– is “a failed human attempt to explain god.”

—
smiling depression ft. brennan bates
prod. lucid sounds
—

shhhh, shhhh

(producer tag)
lucid, lucid, lucid

[pre-hook]
due to my lack, of will to live
once in a while, i try to smile
i fade to black, i always give
don’t wanna cry, much rather die

[hook] (bates & champú)
i don’t wanna smile (yuh)
no, i won’t smile (yuh)
i feel numb inside
why, should-i, smile? (yeah)

say, i don’t wanna smile (yeah)
no, i won’t smile (yeah)
i feel dead inside
so why the f-ck should i smile?

[verse]
shrug it to the side
don’t let it show
don’t let them see, they’ll think you’re weak

hide it from the world
don’t let them see
don’t be selfish, this ain’t healthy

hide it from my momma
nah, i’m just tired
but i am a soldier, i am a champion

hide it from my baby
girl i’m just tired
but i am unhappy, i feel so empty

i feel alone, i always have
i have my doubts, i have my fears
seen better days, don’t feel so great-
since i was eight, its been a few years

and, whatchu think about me?
what you think, i give a f-ck? huh?
you must be lost, ’cause i really don’t

i’m not okay tho, but i’m gon’ be fine
they want me to smile
f-ck, i really won’t

[pre-hook]
due to my lack, of will to live
once in a while, i try to grin
i fade to black, i always give
i don’t wanna cry, i much rather die

[hook]
i don’t wanna smile (yeah)
no, i won’t smile (yeah)
i feel numb inside (uh)
why should i smile? (yeah)

say i don’t wanna smile (aye)
no, i won’t smile (yuh)
i feel dead inside (yuh)
so why the f-ck should i smile?
(why the f-ck should i smile, yeah, uh)

[outro]
whatchu think about me?
what you think, i give a f-ck?
you must be lost, ’cause i really don’t

i’m not okay, but i’m gon’ be fine
they want me to smile
f-ck, i really won’t
(i really won’t)

[declan’s mom]
chad
can you please, please get declan to contact chanel
she is extremely stressed out regarding tonight’s function. why are you two being so immature?
get declan to call chanel !!!

(i really won’t, i really won’t)

– i actually did, sorry for taking so long to respond that friday afternoon aunty lee. ilysm xoxo

- chaddy champu lyrics

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