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chain swangaz - the birds and the bees lyrics

[intro :andy milonakis]
oh my god, that’s him, that’s him, that’s dirt nasty
oh my gosh, go ask him
no you ask him, no you!
but i’m scared
okay, hey dirt nasty
i-i asked my mom, where babies come from, and she says a stork bring them down from heaven, is that true?

[verse 1: dirt nasty]
well let me break it down for you kid
ain’t no stork done dropped off sh-t (what?)
ain’t no santa, no easter bunny, no tooth fairy and b-tches want money
see your mom gave dad some head, he shoulda pulled out and nutted on the bed
instead, nine months later, you plopped out your moms fat -ss during labor (hehe)
but mommy was a player, you might be your dads but you prolly your neighbor’s
came out all sloppy and sh-t, crying like a b-tch, suckin’ her t-ts
see that’s what god intended, but lord have mercy the tw-t’s infected (what’s a tw-t?)
as the doc cut the umbilical he saw your c-ck and said f-ck you’re pitiful
now here you are seven years later and your d-ck ain’t grown a f-cking centimeter (that’s true)
how can i teach you profilactic, just stick the plan with your tiny little fat d-ck

[hook]
let me teach you the birds and the bees, it’s kindda easy like a b c
if you feel like it burns when you pee, put a rubber on your d-ck for the std (that’s right)
let me teach you the birds and the bees (stupid), public service from dirt nasty (dumb sh-t)
see that little red dot on your meat? put a rubber on your d-ck then act like me
doggy style, that’s the sh-t, girl on top, squeeze her t-t, missionary, nah thats lame, choke a b-tch, what’s my name? (dirt nasty)

[andy milonakis]
hey my brother showed me a weird slimy balloon that he says protects him from diseases, what’s a diseases?

[verse 2: dirt nasty]
alright here we go (ladies and gentlemen)
alright kid, hold this beer, let me make this crystal-f-cking-clear
i don’t know if they make baby trojans, but if they do pull it down to the scr-t-m
ever seen dad, scratch real bad, it ain’t poison-oak, they call it the crabs
ever seen sis, hiss when she p-ss, clenching the fist, that’s syphilis
and when mommy make doc appointments, it ain’t the flu, she need vajayjay-ointments
and don’t go sharing slurpies, ‘cuz little karen is carrying herpes
d-ck hurt? burn when you pee? then put a jimmy on your little wee-wee
better wrap that rascal, especially if you put it in a chick -ssh0l-
don’t trust no ho, and if the pinky’s stinky, run for the backdoor
when the cooch is loose, that means she’s a sl-t, you silly goose
p-ssy tight? hit it like a champ, oh yeah, watch out for the tramp-stamp
the b-tches disease, so beware the wrath of the wizard sleeve

[hook]

[outro]
[dirt nasty]
now i hope you kids learned a valuable lesson, now excuse i gotta go to the clinic
[andy milonakis]
oh, i get it now, babies come out of girls p-ssy holes (yes), and your should always use condoms (mmh, maybe)
v-g-n-s are stinking dirty filthy germicidal f-ckholes filled with poss and ooze (you’ve been listening)
thanks dirty nasty, i really learned something today, now that i know about the birds and the bees i’m gonna go get my d-ck sucked
[dirt nasty]
alright you kids get some head

- chain swangaz lyrics

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