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chalece brown - letter to heaven lyrics

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d+mn dad
you know it’s been 2 years
and somehow
i still feel
that you’re still down here

sometimes i pray
we see each other out
on the bus
so we can go and get some food
and spend a day to catch up

man this sucks
and til this day
i hate the beach
how the f+ck i’m posed to smile
knowing you still deceased
but it’s okay
cause i’m alive
and our family gon feast
i was born to k!ll the game
you created a beast

yo wassup
“little lece”
for my name i am
so thankful
it’s chalece, 7 letters
my moms name it got
all scrambled
i was born to be a winner
if i lost, it was a scandal
i’ll have a trophy this year
ima place it on the mantel

i’ll light a candle
for your honor too..
and you know my bedroom
had to be painted blue

1200 forever
baby what it do
i was born to be a star
so come n be my moon

wondered what it would be like
if you would have stayed
for longer days
no more mean fights
i’m sorry for the pain
my selfish ways
i will rewrite
the story of today
to convey
what would feel right
i know it’s safe to say
i really needed you
in my life

you ain’t put me up on game
you ain’t tell me bout the streets
you ain’t tell me when i’m 18
i’ll have like 6 friends deceased
you ain’t tell me any secrets
all those stories unreleased
you ain’t teach me no division
i guess i was just beneath you

but i won’t cry no more
i promise now
ima be up on my grind some more
you picked a side
when you decided to
walk out that door
and i’m not mad
just got some feelings i
can’t hide no more

i’m sorry
i try to live life
like it’s a party
i had to pick the music
this is more than a hobby
the neglect i used to feel
from you yeah it still haunts me
planted me with the idea
that n0body would want me

so i go looking for love
in places it don’t live
got in fights
made mistakes
i shouldn’t make as a kid
i used to think back
and i’d ask my mom
where you’d be at
she never had an
answer and i just couldn’t
believe that

thinking back now
i wish i knew
where you were at now
heaven is a distance
i wish you could text me back now
i’m sorry i couldn’t be
the daughter you wanted
but i’m happy that you came back
and the time spent we bonded

i promise to keep my loyalty
cause being phony isn’t
worth losing my royalty
i’m holding my head high
and living joyfully
i’m happy
even if the liquor gets a
hold of me
you gon end up quoting me

i’m unique
i was taught to stay solid
not my heart though
i’ll give out free love
if you want it
“stand tall
never fold
and always forgive often
don’t hold anger”
okay dad
i been doing what you wanted

i think of all the
broken promises
when i was young
i used to think
your heart was bottomless
the new family
you had created
seemed so marvelous
until that day you
punched that girl in her
esophagus
i’ll keep her name anonymous

d+mn
i gotta say
my life is really a blessing
& you ain’t raise me but
you taught me a lesson
the same ones who love you
can leave
with no hesitation
you was gone before i was 1
that was premeditated

i’m so sorry if this
has escalated
it’s been a while i
got some feelings
that needed to be ventilated
before i even wrote
this song
i really contemplated
but i figured
you ain’t here
so f+ck it might
as well go ahead & say it

this has been my letter to heaven
before i go
i really wanna ask a few questions
did you ever wish you
had a father daughter connection
or wondered what would’ve happened
if you showed mom affection

but now you’re gone
and i don’t talk about it
i get confused
on how to say it
so instead, i just sat and
wrote a song about it
i hope this letter makes it
to heaven
i know on earth
all the broken souls
will receive the message

and i really hope you’re proud of me
you were supportive
you and mom
have never doubted me
i wish you heard the way
i rap my verses soundily
and how i broke all the
standards that once confounded me

i’m so sorry
i wasn’t there
for you
and i’m so f+cking
sorry i could never
show just i cared for you
at night i close my eyes
i see you right in my dreams
i’ll meet you back at heavens gates
wit some vanilla ice cream

we can talk

- chalece brown lyrics

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