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chaoticrapbattles - michael scott vs ron burgundy lyrics

chaotic rap battles!
michael scott!
versus!
ron burgundy!
let’s go!

michael:
h+llo! i am michael scott! regional manager at dunder mifflin
if you think you’re outrapping the scranton branch
then you’re gonna fall, cuz this b+tch is trippin’!
listen, you just can’t compete with wits
im funny as sh+t when i’m popping off hits!
you’ll get terminate by the world’s best boss, b+tch
step into my f+cking office!
not superstitious, but a little bit viscous
when i drop these disses, leaving you in stitches!
you’re kind of a d+ck, but you still get women?
ironic, on the mic you’ll have nothing but misses!
i’m running this business, a lyrical g+nius
im spitting these wits with efficient precision
whеn messing with mifflin you best be еxpecting
i’ll deliver an ass kicking with free shipping!
i’m savage and manage to do maximum damage
with every single attack that i landed
you were liked and admired, but then you got fired
when your wife took your job, she was better at it
iv’e had it with you and toby too!
i’ll go and shoot him twice when i win this fight!
so go gather your crew and prepare to lose
michael scarn says you’re at threat level midnight!
ron:
good evening, planet earth
i’m beloved anchorman, ron burgundy
gonna grill this guy worse than he did his own foot
cuz i’ll give you burns of the third degree
and it occurred to me that today’s top story is me
preforming lyrical surgery on a dude who’s had 3 vasectomies?
(whipped by jan!) now your ass will get whipped by me!
ron burgundy is most certainly murdering verbally
pounding this p+ssy so perfectly!
honestly? your rhymes are as dry as your comedy
you wanna beat me? b+tch you need some diversity!
you’re not even worthy, you’ll never be hurting me
avoiding your hits like i’m rapping in serpentine
rich like mahogany, n0body’s stopping me
after this you’ll wish you never had heard of me!
you’re too weak! and even scared to fight!
my raps hit you hard like a suckerpunch from dwight!
with all the s+xual harassment comments to women
you really should be in prison, mike!
these fisticuffs about to mess you up
so you better get tough real quick or else!
thats gonna do it for my first verse
ron burgundy says “go f+ck yourself!”

michael:
that’s what she said! ha! i’m the king of jokes
you win with words? lol nope!
without a teleprompter you got no hope
cuz like on this beat, you’ll just fricken’ choke!
my flow is nice, i spit cold as ice
you know i own the mic, lazy scranton was right!
you wanna roll the dice and then test your might?
you’ll gamble your life at my casino night!
ron:
no offense, but you’re a stupid assh0l+!
work for a paper company but not make any of it?
i’ve seen your paychecks, you broke b+tch
not sure how you got a wife, but i’ll show her what love is!
gonna find your holly, gonna hold her tight
gonna grab some afternoon delight
i wanna be on her all day and night
cuz that honey is looking mighty fine!
your show is so boring and just disappointing
these guns that i’m showing are always destroying!
and really the only thing you’ll ever be good at
is annoying the sh+t out of all your employees!

michael:
no! god, please no!
did toby write your jokes? i can’t stand anymore!
dude, your wits are so full of sh+t
musta got those flows from the toilet store!
don’t start a war that you’re not prepared for
i’m more hardcore than all four of you dumb dorks
so here’s some news for your ass to report
when i spit this lyrical parkour, you’re done for!
i kicked the sh+t out of you and your little dog too!
left you running scared like when you fought that bear
my dinner party was pretty sh+tty
but nothing i could do could be as bad as that hair!
all my friends agree: you lost, you jerk!
but hey! thanks for stopping by!
oh and 100% of your lines missed the line
every single d+mn time!
ron:
i’m gonna wreck you worse than the wreck i was in!
and when i win, i’ll watch parks and rec again
you think those people like you? none of them are your friends
when my news team assembles, let the beatings begin!
the level that you’re spitting just ain’t a competition
when you battle with this, you’re gonna get beaten into submission
you’re gonna be needing fire safety for the heat that i’m emitting
this little b+tch better listen, i’m number one in the division!
your character is the definition of cringe
and newsflash, man, no one likes the dundies!
i’m kind of a big deal, but scott’s not!
with bars so poor, better declare bankruptcy!
send an email about this, you dumb sh+t
this dude’s iq is even lower than brick’s!
try to stay classy, you overrated pr+ck
turns out your rap sk!lls were as small as your d+ck!

who do you think won?
michael scott
or
ron burgundy?
who should battle next?
chaotic rap battles!

- chaoticrapbattles lyrics

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