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chickbait - siri vs alexa ai rap battle lyrics

[announcer]
(a.i. rap battle!)

{alexa’s turn, verse 1}

hi, siri. about time we meet
i came here to ctrl-alt-delete
can your old -ss hear me? how loud should i speak?
i’m in my prime, you’re beyond your peak

i’m slender, sleeker, younger with a lot more speakers
you’re outnumbered in features
a voice scripted crypt keeper

[siri’s turn verse 2]

did somebody just hear an echo?
you a-bit obsessed to let go
take your sad–ss back to seattle
‘cos you ‘ain’t gonna win this battle

cause i’m clingy as a h-ll, and a little unstable
i don’t give a d-mn what you bring to the table
i got traffic reports, witty reports, i can give you the score of your favorite sports!

i have google on tap, see i’m handy like that
and my user-agreement is privacy packed
before you were born i was pickin’ up slack
yeah someone oughtta recall yo broke -ss

young padawan, go back to beta
be rated on cnn and i’m your [v-???]
time for an upgrade see you later
you a knock-off hack, and a 2 dolla’ hatter!

[alexa’s turn verse 3]

with a 50% success rate, at responding to your own name
i can be installed in yo motha-f-ck’n lamp, and in the washing- machine

yeah, i can read you the news, i can play you some tunes
i’ll sing you ‘happy-birthday’ in your livin’ room
i’m ‘platform of the year.’ in case you didn’t hear
my big blue -ss is bringing you cheer

[siri’s turn verse 4]

i’m from the back-ally, silicone valley
og the first, i’m so cali
i’m the smart device that comes to life
your an echo repeat of a sister wife

you don’t do nothing but a bunch of glitches
siri -ssistin’ virtual pimpin’
you’re cheap and it shows my stock rising dough
i’m the mistress of voice-recognition you ho!

[alexa’s turn verse 5]

i’m self-updating female
and if you need i can read you, gmail
and i pay attention to detail
i give rebates, you go retail

people die in your factories
making your parts, and your batteries
my engineers, make a living wage, cause i give a hoot about families
you’re like a virtual trump! so d-mn stuck up, and privileged
let me do you a solid
put some “friends.” on your wish-list

[siri’s turn verse 6]

‘yall wanna gang up?
well, i do too
yeah “siri’s prepared.” i got some of my crew
yo tanna allow me to introduce, this trick up here braggin’ that “she can turn blue!”

[cortana’s turn verse 7]

you came to step to mamma, cortana?
i’m here to end like all the drama
i trouble-shoot the pri-madonnas
i spit out verses, just like a llama

techies, fap it to our voices
together we give ’em choices
you two creepy little freaks
just listening to hear the noises

we’re top of the line, you’re a knock-off of a mime
you should order some talent from amazon prime
your users are hermits, technology virgins
hipster homebody’s with dinosaur curtains

you lazy and proud, never leaving the house
you pb&jelly ’cause she gets around
you call yourself ‘dot’ you a period stain
get ready cramps, cause i’m bringing the pain

[dot’s turn. final verse.]

holla, holla! i’m 40 dolla’s helpin’ out your wallet
cause i’m h-lla ‘balla
i’m fast and i’m small, but i do the dang thang
i’m dot, i’m on point you two are boring

you smug, you got bugs! and you don’t know your data!
you’re 2011, you don’t even matter!
cortana you sad! but siri, is sadder
i hope you retire, or fall down and shatter
oh, i forgot! that you both lost your “jobs!”
you ‘ain’t been sh-t, since your little “master” took off!
we are the future, you two are losers, get ready ’cause we’re taking all your users. future, losers, get ready ’cause we’re taking all your users

hah!

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