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chino xl - reguarding elizabeth (save me) lyrics

[verse 1]
i’m high feeling like i’m walking in clouds
and seeing faces staring at me as i move through the crowd
feeling like the whole world just took a wickedness vow
ridiculous how hate has replaced all religiousness now
stop off in front of a church, i kneel and i bow
black rosary for all the pain i kept in my file
never reciprocated all the hurt that my mom allowed
for happened to me, the amount of tears i shed could have drowned
now all i want to do is make my little girls proud
and pray my death is quiet but my funeral’s loud
when i’m feeling inspired reaching my inner child
i witness my illusion shatter with no angels around
i’m hoping this explains why my hate and my anger’s abound
abused and threatened with death if i had dared made a sound
knocked to the floor, silently curled up on the ground
i guess blood’s a rite of p-ssage on the way to the crown

[hook]
save me
i think i’m going crazy
so won’t you just pray for me
i’m falling deeper than i’ve gone before
maybe
i’m thinking that maybe
if somebody prays for me
i won’t fall deeper than i’ve gone before

i think i’m losing it man

[verse 2]
i knew she loved me but it wasn’t the time
there was so much left for me to do, so far from my prime
in hindsight, i probably should have sacrificed, wouldn’t mind
bedroom apartment was leaking, i was out of my mind
i was young, ain’t know who i was, how could i respond?
that abortion went against my principles, am i wrong?
gritty like selling my spirit out just in different forms
three months in the stomach, that fetus knew my voice when i talked
yeah, it was her decision true, but i should have fought
and having beautiful children later enhances the thought
i should’ve never wavered or caved in or stayed in a [?]
i hated all things living, my descension and fall
apologies in the song but i swear i was lost
hope it wasn’t painful when your little light was cut off
as my ex lay there bleeding, started feeling remorse
i pray their forgiveness for me as i’m hugging this cross

[hook]

[verse 3]
i see her outside playing now and then
she’s got bruises on her arms like she fell off a swing
paid it no mind, i’m blind, guess it is what it is
plus i was having my own drama with the mom of my kids
ironically she became one of my daughter’s friends
such a tiny little thing, her name was elizabeth
her family stayed right down the hall from where we lived
sometimes i thought i heard her screaming, man these walls are thin
tried to sleep right after tucking my princess in
staring at the ceiling, know i need to mind my own biz
but flashbacks of my own childhood would spin
of my stepfather’s abuse, this little girl’s innocent
i seen her father one time, he’s a cop and a pig
her mom an ex-beauty queen turned heroin fiend
one day at the pool my family wanted to swim
i seen elizabeth there with a bruise on her chin
a cut on her ribs by a mark on her chest
she cried do you even have to ask one question, who did this?
i seen the fear through her eyes and scratched retina lid
man i was gone in the head and i just couldn’t sit
i flipped
you might think that i am crazy
but i can’t let them hurt this baby
i kicked in the door with no gun in my hand
you want to fight somebody mother f-cker, you fight a man
i’m in prison now for what i did
her dad can never hurt elizabeth again cause he’s dead

[hook]

- chino xl lyrics

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