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chivalery - questions lyrics

[verse]
last year i opened my arms to you
i poured out my heart for you
i was passionate in you
had faith in you
now i’m stuck with these traumas
and i was told you were the one to calm them
but here i sit in the pews
praying for help from you
but i guess my aura’s off
cus i haven’t heard a word
i keep counting my sins
hoping you’ll forgive
cus ‘crae says i got blessings
but all i see are my questions
but i guess every opportunity to ask a question
is a blessing
but you’re not someone i’m supposed to question
but yet i do
like
last year why’d you take my dad away?
we werе ‘bout to fix things
now you let these dеmons sink back in
why lord?
i’m told you have a plan for us
then why do i feel stuck?
hung out to dry
outta luck
questioning love
questioning faith
questioning us
questioning me
questioning pracktikal
cus to be pracktikal is to be factual
and to be factual, i haven’t taken an actual look at the good book in a while
people say i should read the romans
or the pslams, maybe the proverbs
but i’m still stuck on genesis
maybe you’re trying to tell me my life’s just beginning
yeah, that’s it
but why did you give adam and eve direct evidence?
and then leave me relentless trying to get some emphasis?
i reached out to a couple church friends
told ‘em i was battling hopelessness
but i haven’t gotten a response since
they heard i was rapper
i thought all god’s children were supposed to work together?
but yet i haven’t gotten help from my brethren
is it because i don’t hold my hands together?
i haven’t done that much recently
except when i’m in need
so i understand that you turned your back to me
turned your back to me
i can see
but i can’t see why my fam has faith in me
they’re starting to be proud of me
but i question what they actually see
because all i see is a sinner with my face
yeah, that sinner is me
ten commandments
i’ve broke a few
suicide is a sin
that you can’t forgive
but i thought sins are supposed to be something i can forgive myself for
but yet i don’t forgive, i just try to forget
just trying to put my mind to bed
but these questions stay stuck in my head
like
why is it that i’ve been feeling suicidal but i’m not the one who i really want to die though?
yeah, i don’t wanna die
i wanna live
but i keep letting the demons keep on creeping in
and they say i’m closer to satan than i am to you
but when i pray in those pews
i’m talking to you
maybe i should grab the bible
stick it to my chest
fight the demons off myself but i’m not that tough
no i’m not that tough
lord i just need your love
your acceptance
i need some acceptance
cus all i’m feeling is rejection
so i’m done with these questions
so here i sit and pray
and i’ll keep praying
not for my ascension
but for my own acceptance

- chivalery lyrics

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