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chivalery - tormented dreams lyrics

[intro]
so tell me about these nightmares
nightmares
nightmares
nightmares

[verse]
yeah
i had one last night where i had a gun pointed at my head
i heard the trigger pull but i wasn’t dead
it was a instead
on the ground she f+cking bled
had her in my arms and i felt her soul had fled
i woke up and immediately text
telling her i love her and i always be there
but it felt like i lied after what i just witnessed in my head
then i try and go back to bed
like ok, it was just dream
but it feels like my mind is splitting at the seams
can you tell me what that means?
are you gonna blame that on my adhd?
just my brain being hyperactive?
that ain’t the answers i’m after
i had another one a couple nights before
i looked down and saw me on my deathbed
family circled around it, i can hear their cries
balling out their f+cking eyes
i flip over my arms and what do i see?
two six inch incisions from a knife
f+ck
[bridge]

wow, that’s pretty deep

can you tell me more?

[verse]
ahem
i had one where i got a text from my step+mom
i started tearing up and crying from what it said
and this time it felt like it was my soul that he’d fled
and i dread about what i f+cking read
“what did it say?”
i’d say but i don’t know if i wanna go there yet
some of them don’t even wait till i’m asleep
they come up as day dreams
like what if i did this or do that
always on the negative side
like there ain’t no coming back
even though i know they’re all just lies
like i’m praying for my own demise
like i lost the urge to rise
like all i wanna do is die
my mind is fried
it’s clear i control my life
but not my mind
had one the other night, where i stood right in front of my dad
the moment he did it
the moment he pulled it
the moment our relationship ended
the moment we lost it
but it felt like my hand was on the gun
but it felt like my finger was on the trigger
then +gun shot+
the torment was over
i woke up in sweats
i woke up in tears
i woke up in fear
i bet n0body dreams like i do
f+ck, i can’t tell my peers
can barely say this without breaking intotears
i don’t know what’s in the air
my dreams are just a bunch wars
and i keep it all upstairs
because i feel like i can’t share
so i tell em i just can’t sleep at night
but they check on me “asking if i’m alright”
what am i supposed to do? f+cking lie?
i’m growing older
but my past i can’t let go
so sign me up for more melato
but just know
i’ve been up for 57 hours with no sleep tryna stay sober
f+ck

- chivalery lyrics

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