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chivalery - years gone by lyrics

[hook]
i keep counting the years gone by
watching the clock run down the time
watching the calendars get ripped down
i wanna be alive but
i keep counting the years go by
i count the years gone by

[verse]
yeah
i keep watching the years go by
counting down how much time i have alive
one day i hope i can say that i tried
but even imaging that feels like a lie
i think back to the hard times
back when i was almost taking my life at nine
before i knew how to write in a rhyme
bullied every day of my life
doc said i need some meds for my mind
adhd, add, ocd, keeping me up all night
with all the voices i listen to inside
back when i had no drive
back when i had no plans to drive
tour the states and vibe
flash forward to 15
and i met the girl of my dreams
when my mental fully started to tear at the seams
when i felt life was being too mean
punished for just having dreams
almost writing letters to the fam saying “i don’t expect to see you at 18.”
that’s crazy to see
it’s crazy to say how far we’ve been
cus i just
[hook]
i keep counting the years gone by
watching the clock run down the time
watching the calendars get ripped down
i wanna be alive but
i keep counting the years go by
i count the years gone by

[verse]
i got fleurie tweeting at me
17 is the year that changes my life
so i tried my best embrace it
do what i can with it
then four days before 18
that’s the day that changed my life
got me saying “f+ck 2018.”
holy sh+t thing’s have changed
from getting evicted from family
to at our bosses house, staying
to living in hotel room, paying 200 a week
that year has no christmas
no valentine’s day, and no f+cking easter
now i’m living in my own studio
man who knew? yeah
cus that year is this year
i gotta couple weeks till i’m 20
it’s crazy
2018 and 2019 had some bumps, plenty
the road has been pretty bendy
cus i was
suicidal at 9
making dreams at 14
wait, 15, yeah even 16
but i was doing nothing at 17
made some changes at 18
now i’m living happy at 19
and i can’t wait to see what happens at 23
hang on, run it back a little
yeah
cus i was
suicidal at 9
making dreams at 14
wait, 15, yeah even 16
but i was doing nothing at 17
made some changes at 18
now i’m living happy at 19
and honestly i just can’t wait to see what happens at 23
but i still just
[hook]
i keep counting the years gone by
watching the clock run down the time
watching the calendars get ripped down
i wanna be alive but
i keep counting the years go by
i count the years gone by

- chivalery lyrics

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