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choking on existence - i was just a small boy then lyrics

cured from the worst of it
wish that’s what i said
hard to clear my mind with all these demons in my head
bottle clear my sight but on my grave it wasn’t said
didn’t say sh+t about nights i sit up on my bed
contemplating life i hold a pistol to my head
i’m gone i’ll leave behind all of the messages you’ll send
cus maybe then i’ll be a thought inside your head
there’s nothing left, rope taught knot around my neck
finally the silence i’ve been dying for since 10
i was just a small boy then
grooming me you pruned me and i wound up dead
fooling me consuming me you called me friend
but i was i was just a small boy then
didn’t know better cause all i had was him
should’ve known better i’d been told it was a sin
but i was just a small boy then

tried to escape but i was tied i couldn’t leave the room
soon i’ll be awake and i can call for you
soon i’ll grab the blade don’t be afraid i’m coming back to you
put another slit onto my wrist just tryna cut me loose
loosen up your grip or we gon lose all we were meant to do
what was i meant to do
yeah

- choking on existence lyrics

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