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chonny jash - every ounce of energy. lyrics

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i haven’t slept for 24 hours
and i won’t sleep for 24 more
i can’t eat. i can’t even shower
i can’t seem to get up from the floor

just how long do you think i can stay here?
just how long do you think i can lie?
i’ll smile and wave, and say that i’m safe here
but sooner or later, i know that here is where i’ll die: stuck inside my own mind

i haven’t wept since i don’t even know when
i haven’t smiled sincere in a while
i haven’t meant a word that i’ve spoken
i’m not heaven+sent, i’m evil and vile

i haven’t cried, and i don’t know why
there’s plenty to cry about. i’m stuck at a roundabout

give me a reason to even keep up my breathing, i’m
feeling hopeless and worthless, becoming numb so it hurts less
oh please just give me a reason to make it to the next season
i feel compressed, undynamic. just verging on manic

it’s taking every ounce of energy to not panic

i haven’t cried, and i don’t know why
there’s plenty to cry about. i’m stuck at a roundabout
i’ve bargained, and lied, and forsaken my pride
and now the noose is tied. i’m losing my will to fight

but perhaps these winds could wash out my sins
and give me something to smile about
like a child on a merry+go+round.,
substituting a smile for a frown

and maybe, in time i’ll consolidate my mind
and see there’s plenty of joy to find
the truth that’s beneath the lie, that
one day, i truly will be fine

- chonny jash lyrics

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