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christian layone - mimic lyrics

part 1
[verse 1]
my affection is depleted
i don’t care bout your reason
just torn to pieces by my demons
yet you act like you need me
but i’m a dead kid in a minute cause the righteous wanna hunt me
hundreds of these youngins all deserve my righteous punishment
mint colored eyes paired up with copper hair
kids with complexions of blood wetter than phillipine air
or even darker. it does not matter
cause i’m a monster
i don’t care if you’re a foe or a sponsor
i would still jab at your weak spots
like your temple. or your stomach
yeah my issues will resurface
wait
yeah i will repeat it again
christian doesn’t care if you are an enemy or a friend
listen then
bl–dy is your face
i’ll initiate

[verse 2]
young kid
taking opposition down with hammer kicks
a therapist. i need a therapist
cause i can murder every thing myself
figurative and literal
i ain’t run by justice so i don’t need to justify actions visceral. wait
i see openings on your face
i’mma run up on ya just for putting me in my place
justifying your actions saying that “life ain’t fair.”
i agree with you and i’ll show you why you should be scared
hah

[verse 3]
hatred, i’m fueled by hatred
i ain’t giving special treatment to those who ain’t me
i want you to cough out blood and cry out tears of pain and suffering
for i am the one to make delivery haste
i’ll beat you til you’re in place
stomp til blood leaves your own face
i said i’ll decide your fate
death is what i’d ‘preciate
i won’t let them make me chill
shut your mouth. shut your mouth
christian you’ve fallen down hill
shut your mouth. shut your mouth

part 2

[transition]
it was then that i had realized
that i had fallen into a downward spiral

[verse 4]
i’m sitting on a bench in downtown
it is 7 at night
the streetlights shining down and i thought today was alright
it’s just like every day
nothing good, nothing bad
but i found myself in my bed. 4am
with my phone in my hand
yuh
one thing that i learned from my parents:
i’m lazy, selfish, narrow-minded and inconsiderate
please listen
god, why? god, why?
did you make me like this?
now i have to fake and be a mimic
since i was a kid
i’ve always been harming those who were closest to me
both physically. and emotionally
it was if christian could win just by being the bully
i remember when i betrayed one of my closest friends over my own mouth
i could see the tears running down
both of our own faces
i hurt my friend. i hurt myself
i just hope god could fix this
sorry will not cut it
driven by remorse, i ran deep into the forest
i ran til i got to the lake
i stared at myself in the face
“christian why do you make these mistakes?!”
“christian why you think before you speak?!”
“christian i wish that you were not me.”
i deserve it! i deserve it all!
everyone’s life would be so much better if i was not even alive at all
this is not something i’d proudly say in public
if i said it everyone would just go tell me nonsense
“christian there are many reasons to live great.”
“if thats the case then why’s the only one to release my mixtape?”
“i never told people i was depressed because i never thought i was.”
“i’m a rational person i swear i ain’t an attention seeker”
“it only came to me after i considered suicide”
quoting job:
“why did i not die at birth, come forth from the womb and expire?”
but then it was time when it was enough
i was with my friends sitting in a yellow bus
they messed with me. one of my friends got it
fists to the face ’til his blood started falling
i thought that would teach them a lesson
little did i know that father found out through a text message
“christian why do think you’re so privileged?”
“you know i’ll send you to juvie. the real world ain’t forgiving.”
it was at that point i was my dad’s son
overreaction but he was persistent
i knew he would do it. i knew he would do it
i ran to the bathroom and i turned the shower on
“god. i will ask the question again”
“why do you choose to make a bad person?”
“why do you choose to let them make mistakes?”
“i am not job. i might just be leaving”
“i know that you love me but i might not love you”
“i am at my lowest point you know that is true”
“please lord just give me something oh something to see”
“otherwise this might just be the end of ‘ol me”
after i left i was filled with anxiety
was this the end? or was it the beginning?
opened the door and i stepped out
‘proached my father and i sat down
my father had a change of heart
and that was when i knew god was really here from the start
he knows things i don’t. and it’s the same with job
ever since that day. i have pledged to be with god alone

- christian layone lyrics

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