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christian weston chandler – chris chan lyrics

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i don’t wanna be a friend o’ christian weston chandler
i’m not a hedgehog, i can’t zap to the extreme
i wanna be the one who wants to be that one troll, clyde cash
i ain’t no trash, but i can mess with sonichu because we can

he’s around the corner, stalking at a gal pal
so tired of living life as a virgin
he and his yellow hedgehog, sonichu, were waiting
for the right moment, but it’s gone too soon

megan, kacey, ivy, and mclerran
has had enough with chris chan’s dirty, not-so-purty ways
i checked his status on the wikipedia
so far, nintendo turned down chandler’s video game

i don’t wanna be a friend of christian weston chandler
i am a human, i don’t zap to the extreme
i wanna be the one who wants to be that one troll, clyde cash
i ain’t no trash, but i can mess with sonichu because we can

jerkops everywhere, there’s nowhere you can go now
mary lee walsh, ready to attack you
10 years on the love quest, so far, no one loves you
his masculinity is lost to a phone call

i don’t wanna see a, listen to a, be a tomgirl
i am just a human, not a fatty, bratty twit
i just wanna be like kacey’s awesome father, matthew
i ain’t no troll, but i am here to give a try

because we can, blue arms can shake a gamestop
we can, if you team up with me
we can, i won’t think out to stop
we can, we can

i don’t wanna be a friend of christian weston chandler
because he’s a racist. he doesn’t like blacks
nor does he like to be around h-m-s-xuals, no?
not that i am, but that is just dumb, i’m gonna troll him ’cause i can

i dont wanna be a friend of christian weston chandler
he travelled 1,000 miles all for nothing
the man, he might be 33 but acts like he’s a toddler
this list goes on and on and this song’s ending soon

because it can, because, well, why not?
manchild, that’s what everyone calls him
we can, i won’t think out to stop
we can, we can