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chrysopoeist - cockfights lyrics

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[intro]
(telephone rings)
-cl!ck-

h-llo?

(hey, it’s monday. all good?)

ey. what? uh, yeah
…monday?
you messin’ with me right now?

(no. why, what’s going on?)

oh sh-t
i’ma just tell it how i remember

[verse 1]
the other day i went to sleep in the dark
woke up, found myself takin’ my c-ck for a walk
had that sh-t on a leash
in the middle of the street
this car beepin’ at me, (beep beep)
the sh-t decided to squawk. (squawk)

i’m like, “what the f-ck is goin on?”
all of a sudden
decide to check my pocket
for my phone

realized i ain’t had my pants on
the guy in the car? this motherf-cker
ready to get it on!

oh sh-t, better get my -ss out of here
this dirty man gonna try to stick something
up my rear

and i am not a queer
and i am not curious
and if you come near me
you gonna make me furious!

so i take the leash
and walk the other way
i hear the man’s door open
and i pick up the pace

i hear him pick up the pace
and now this is a race
i like my -ssh0l- virgin
(stick your d-ck in your face!)

i start runnin’ away
this guy givin’ the chase
i’m like, “no, no, no!”
my c-ck’s all in the way

i let go of the leash
it flap its wings and trip me
the feathers drift in the breeze
this guy’s pants to his knees

my c-ck bit off his d-ck!
it’s c-ckfights in this b-tch
this guy started to scream
this sh-t must be a dream!

my c-ck saved the day!
i started running again
wait!

i turn to get my rooster
this is a win

[interlude]
(you think i believe this sh-t?)

hey, hey, chill man!
this what i remember from that night

and daaamn, you didn’t even let me finish, man

(ugh.)
(personally, i think you got some issues.)
(but, fine. tell me what else happened.)

[verse 2]
so i’m walkin’ down the street
and i turned a corner
suddenly, everything went from order to disorder
suddenly there’s a whole gang of thieves
they lookin’ at my c-ck and doin’ the math
tellin’ me, “get on your knees.”

but you know i got a disease
suddenly here come the threes
suddenly i’m like, “b-b-tch, in yo’ f-ckin’ dreams.”

“over my dead c-ck, b-tches.”
and just like that i pull my c-ck back
a-and i
t-take off the f-ckin’ leash!

i unleashed the beast
the beast know karate
the beast go bruce lee on they -sses
like this a movie

i’m standing there
watchin my c-ck
do backflips in the air
cluckin’ and f-ckin’ people up everywhere

i’m like, “f-ck is this?”
this straight up matrix sh-t
my c-ck tapped into akashic record

(i know kung fu, b-tch!)

and now this sh-t got me kinda unsettled
i’ma need a blunt or two
s-so i can get back to feelin’ mellow

[bridge]
my c-ck fight crime at night
he like batman
c-ckman
just need the tights

and if you fight my c-ck
you gon’ get bruised!
my c-ck fight like tom cruise

i mean jack reacher
he f-ck yo’ -ss up
you the student. he the teacher

make yo -ss call him sensei
my c-ck slap you so hard
he turn yo’ -ss g-y

[verse 3]
the whole gang down
new contender:
another man with his c-ck out
just another offender

i walk right up to his -ss
you know, i stand taller!
my c-ck’s harder, better, faster
and it’s even stronger!

my c-ck’s bigger than his
my c-ck’s even longer!

my c-ck will take his c-ck anyday
my c-ck’s a monster!

now it’s a face off
i mean c-ck off
this jerkoff with his pants on
b-tch, my pants are still gone!

[bridge]
you know it’s serious
i might be delirious
i don’t know how i got home
it’s so mysterious

musta been so drunk
maybe i had too much to smoke
you know
little too much skunk

or maybe someone caught me out there
and slipped me a roofie
‘cuz lemme tell you
that this whole sh-t
it was just a doozy

and you know, i ain’t gonna lie
after that event
yo…

i been sleepin’ since tuesday

[outro]
(you’re full of sh-t, chrys!)
(that’s the last time i listen to your stories.)

what??

(you’re fired!)

daaamn, just like that?
you got no heart, boss
no heart

…

h-llo??

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