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chuck brodsky - gone to heaven lyrics

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his uniform was baggy – he had gigantic feet
his hat was always c-ck-eyed & he had but a few t–th
and a schnozz as big as baltimore – and a heart as big as devon
max patkin made the children laugh – and for that he’s gone to heaven

max patkin, he was vaudeville – last of the old time clowns
funniest looking fellow – that ever went from town to town
with the kind of face that he himself said – only a mother could love
with his loosey-goosey limbs – and his floppy leather glove

max patkin worked 3 innings – they let him coach first base
he’d call a meeting with the batter – and then kiss him on the face
then he’d do his chicken walk – and then his geyser bit
where he’d take a sip of soda – tilt his head back and spit

max would leave ‘em howling – then be slumped upon his stool
with his back against a locker – filling the whirlpool
dirtied up and sweaty – down to his stockinged feet
he’d give the clubhouse boy 5 dollars – to scr-pe the mud off of his cleats

the clown prince of baseball – did 5,000 gigs
for 50 years he shared the bill – with circus dogs & talking pigs
and by the 9th inning – he’d be back at the motel
with an early morning wake-up call – and the next night he’d be someplace else

the towels in every motel room – they all smell like chlorine
from the rookie leagues to triple a – and all points in between
and all those hotshot prospects – who ever were big league bound
he saw ‘em on the way up – and some on the way back down

oh, to be a clown these days – you’ve got to have thick skin
a flask in your back pocket – or a bottle of aspirin
the drunks sometimes’ll getcha – or the team that did not win
it’s tough to be a clown these days – you’ve got to have thick skin

max patkin loved the children – and the children, they loved him
his body would fall apart sometimes – but he’d patch it up for them
he never, ever, not even one time – sold an autograph
a funny man, max patkin – he made people laugh

the times changed on max patkin – along came rock & roll
they blare it from the speakers now – if ever there’s a lull
and some guy in a chicken suit – is circling the bases
with a corporate logo on his back – and in 1 or 2 other places

if there’s a st. peter – sitting at the gate
he probably saw max play sometime – and wiped clean max’s slate
that corny old routine – dated back to 1947
max patkin made the children laugh – and for that he’s gone to heaven

- chuck brodsky lyrics

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