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chumbawamba - a fairy tale (real no-shit) lyrics

chapt. two – guess who? manfred the great
the great king bashed down his goblet on the oaken table as kings do when they want more wine. everyone was silent. ‘minstrel the noise of chattering women grates on my ears. play me some music,’ he bellowed.
a fairy tale handed down
i believed it, didn’t we all
a man, a hero, walks on to the scene
unquestionably good at everything
first he does battle with various creatures
which compared to his goodness are evil monsters
having made dragons extinct forever
he murders a couple of the castle guards
he enters the castle quite unnoticed
and tells the girl he’ll be back for her
‘and so i shall make her mine forever’
but runs into trouble and is taken prisoner
is taken to the big bad, bad, bad, baddy
baddy tells hero how goodness is finished
and has him strapped up to a slow-death device
but he escapes as the rope starts to burn through
the blade crashes down on the block where his head was
with a sword from the wall he finishes the castle guards
a lamp gets knocked over in the panic and a fire starts
a race against time to rescue the princess
to get past the baddy to get out of the castle
out of the window where the horses are waiting
the couple ride off and the whole place goes up in flames

- chumbawamba lyrics

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