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church of the helix choir - lard helix lyrics

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eating with lard helix
feeling the love of his thick fat
cook me up a tasty omelette
with a side of crisp bacon

some may put vegetables in my path
but i will be pressing b all over that
oak may say that it’s not the time for fat
but i think i’ll take a break of that kit kat

oh i think i ate a little too much
but i know lard helix won’t fuss
if i just get down on my hands and knees
i can pray away all of these calories

as we munch forwards
and try all these entrees
the helix ever will fill my plate
as i fly to obesity

so you know what i’ve been thinking?
i could eat a lot more if i was… drinking!
it could even work with a roll of sushi
put in a blendеr and make yourself a smoothie

and i know you madе a really healthy dinner
with the express intent of making me thinner
don’t get me wrong, i can appreciate it
but every time i try i just seem to hate it
you know i never ever want to be mean
but i’d rather get my snack on at dairy queen
and maybe afterwards we could stop at arby’s
“it’s all about that bass” but you’re looking like a barbie

and i can’t get enough of these calories
and my waistline has broken the boundaries
with every pound i gain i know i feel the realness
of the love of my life, the blessed lard helix

as we munch forwards
and try all these entrees
the helix ever will fill my plate
as i fly to obesity

rest when i am dead
from cardiac arrest
eat while we still have the day
let’s get to the buffet
(tonight it’s flambé)

after all of that i still could get a sandwich
and some frozen yogurt wouldn’t be outlandish
when we’re done here let’s head over to subway
we can eat the tcby while we’re still on the way
i realize i could never eat too much
cuz lard helix is praised when my pants bust
and right now i’m only half+way
to eating the equivalent of my body weight

as we munch forwards
and try all these entrees
the helix ever will fill my plate
as i fly to obesity

- church of the helix choir lyrics

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