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chvse - scared lyrics

[verse 1]
when i was 4 i was fighting for my life
they stabbed me up with needles tryna get the treatment right
i was scared i was dying like the kid the other night
cuz he ain’t get the same meds that i did on the flight
and now he’s dead man that should’ve been me
like what if he was that dude who coulda cured a disease
or figured out a way to save us when the earth would deplete
or then became the f+cking president who nurtured the peace
i just don’t get it cuz i ain’t living my life
man all i do is sit at home and f+cking b+tch when i write
then f+ck a b+tch every night, instead of picking them right
cuz in my past every girl i had was picking a fight
and it made me nervous, my circuits are shot and i don’t care
i’m tryna find the words that’ll surface and find air
i’m working to feel worth it i’m hurt and it’s not fair
cuz i feel like i been searching for purpose that’s not there
and now i’m scared

[chorus]
and now i’m scared
and i don’t like to talk about my feelings
cuz the man inside the mirror got some demons
motherf+cker and i’m scared
and now i’m scared
but i been acting like i’m okay
even though deep inside i been lost in my mind
and i’m scared

[verse 2]
but i’m alive and well
well, i’m alive but i’m far from well
so the doctors say i need to focus more on my health
because i rap to help you but it ain’t helping myself
i keep myself pinned down with the words that i spit
instead of moving past pain i indulge in the sh+t
look, you probably thinking it’s hot
but it caused my anxiety and that sh+t don’t stop
i can’t even leave my house so i hide in my room
cuz everybody in my town talks down on me to
they see me as a f+cking rapper some delusional goon
and judge me based off every lyric not the sh+t that i do
and it made me p+ssed
i’m b+tching but sh+t it’s just not fair
i’m itching for the figures i figured its right there
the bigger picture i painted is failing to find air
cuz the genre started changing my brain is just not there
and now i’m scared

[chorus]
and now i’m scared
so i don’t leave my room too often
man there’s to much talk around my name
motherf+cker now i’m scared
and now i’m scared
i don’t do well when i’m lonely
but i’m always by myself
and maybe that’s the reason that i’m scared

[verse 3]
for my family and friends that i made
cuz death is just around the corner that could happen today
and sh+t i couldn’t even fathom what my family would say
if they seen me laying dead in my casket one day
i seen my parents last week, i ain’t seen them in months
sh+t my mom looked nervous cuz i’m hanging with thugs
and she’s scared i’ll od cuz i got into drugs
so before i thought to leave i went and gave her a hug and she latched on
like she won’t see me again
i got a feeling that the reason is the sh+t that i said
i tell my fans everyday that i wish i was dead
so i can finally be in peace instead of dealing with dread and it made me mad
i’m passing the pain to my own fam
i stacked all the odds in my favor to make rap
now i’m laughing about passing and having a whole gram
cuz i’m lacking all the passion i had and its so sad
and now i’m scared

- chvse lyrics

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