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citruses - poem lyrics

[gavin spegal]
when i think it’s like 50 alcoholics all trying to talk at the straight time
and when i speak it’s like 50 alcoholics all trying to walk in a straight line
but i never found it my fancy to take those pills i was prescribed
and now i search and search for something that will chill me inside
then i found people with pills that promised sublime
the bottle didn’t say my name but if i bought ‘em they were mine
and i took like one, two, three, four many of ‘em and i can’t remember last night

and now i’m panicking, tryna scr+pe together pennies and dimes
tears coming out of eyes
and rolling down cheek sides
looking for that peep high
sure it ain’t a cheap high
it’s become more of a need high
gee i
wonder if my mom could ever look at me the same
laying in the bed barely breathing while the 911 dial rang

i wake up the next day in a hospital bed surrounded by family and friends all about to say the same thing
that i don’t need those pills to stay sane
that if i come to terms and learn from my demons i’ll experience a new change
not looking for loose change
just to pay for something that will never let me be the same
and i stand here today
and i look myself in the face if it means i hear what i say
that i don’t need those pills to operate
cause it ain’t from those pills that my soul was saved

- citruses lyrics

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