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cj anfernee - smile lyrics

[intro + spoken word by the muse]:
life has kicked me in the gut, twisted my arm, ripped hair from my scalp, and shoved me to the ground, leaving me with nothing but pain and skinned knees
i can’t complain, though, so i’ll take it all with a smile
because they’ll just say i’m being sensitive, that i’m not strong like the others, that i’ll whine and fuss and cry, and that i’m not cut out for any of it, so… i’ll smile
not saying that i want life to be easy, not saying i’m supposed to like it, but for once i’d like my smile to actually be a genuine smile

[verse + cj anfеrnee]:
as a young man at age 25 to life
i nevеr seek consolation from these happy+go+lucky
people who never felt deprivation stabbing their souls like a butcher knife
the situation’s ugly
food’s low, baby crying lights cut today
rent due for two months, we barely making payments
four days since my grandmother passed away
n0body’s bothered to help with the funeral arrangements
poor city soul got that high sniffing
came down from a plane he couldn’t pay tuition
your money talks but i ain’t tryna listen
it ain’t talking a thousand words to paint a pic of the pot that your people need to p+ss in
near death, i don’t care
been low for so long, i’m losing every ounce of fear
my heart’s on my sleeve, tattered fashion, i’m worse for wear
our collective pain is music to god’s ear
“ministry for the people”, i thought my vote would behoove us
you crawl to their office they hit you with shady maneuvers
superstitious neighbor throw chemicals on my louvres
baby mama panicking, she got a breast tumor
life brew the hate seasoned in a love child
trials and tribulations, it’s hard to reconcile
the stress can turn a sh+ll of a man to a h+ll of a menace
in the streets of rome, we pay our own penance
no such thing as closure when you grooming “soldiers”
kept the weight of my tears off your shoulders
you say “the time is 11:11, now speak good karma”
even though two commas still ain’t common for momma
so, granny bel, may you rest in eternal peace
the son that your daughter made is making a masterpiece
before the sunflowers and roses die on your grave
i’ll try not to drown and ride the wave
i’ll do it with a smile

[outro + continuation of spoken word by the muse]:
think i enjoy the blood dripping from my knees, or having to explain to everyone i see why my face looks like i’ve been to war and back, or why i wince when someone tries to hug me?
oh, you think i’m just a sensitive crybaby
well, i’ll be that plus a little more, but with a smile
i’ll fight through it, figure it out, dare not let a single tear fall, put a band+aid on my knee, and give y’all the perfect smile you want so much
and i hope in the end, just a smile, no matter how clouded by the mishaps of life, will be enough

- cj anfernee lyrics

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