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cj lil trife - emmanuel lyrics

[verse 1]
lemme take y’all back, when i was in 4th grade, and all my current issues had been just made. the n-gg- f-ckin my momma reffered to by the ace of spades, but that later on ended in a free trade, i felt betrayed. old ratchet -ss n-gg- lookin like jar jar binks, but what we see ain’t what he think. he look useless, to say that he can’t ruin life i’m stupid. like the time i was walkin home from school, fake og thinkin he all cool. flip phone buzzin out in my pants, so i picked up and gave the call a lil chance. i hear the n-gg- on the mic givin threats, that he don’t regret, and somehow i end up in debt. i hang up with my head aching, heart racing, whole body shaking. cause i knew if i couldn’t act fast, i would’ve been a thing from the past. so i hit my dad up the next day, he was gettin calls too is what he had to say. cause when you got yo dad’s name his h-ts come on you, they find out tripin like “oh sh-t, you corey too?” sometimes i wonder what it’s like seein me from a different view, the r-t-rd’s life fallin apart tell me that ain’t true. so sat-rday i’m at home playin video games, the phone ring with unknown the name. i pick up and it’s the same n-gg- from before, talkin bout how he gon k!ll me and do some more. but i just hang up and curl into a ball, not knowing what to do i was gonna end it all. next time he called wasn’t far after the wreckage, i didn’t answer so he left a message. he gonna hit my crib with a couple friends, and i’m just so traumatized because my age is only 10

[verse 2]
next time i saw my dad we talked about it, he got a couple calls where sh-t was shouted. threats of slaughter were made by my dad, cause this n-gg- kept textin bullsh-t so he was mad. 30 minutes later 12 show up, my dad in cuffs what they were bout to load up, these mental scars i wonder if i can ever sew up, last words from dad that night “you’ll understand everything when you grow up.” so as my dad drive away in the police cruiser, grandma tries to keep me from feelin like a loser. 2 days later was the court hearing, the whole truth of the situation was all revealing. can’t trust my momma she lied straight to my face, fakin some bullsh-t just to put my dad in a race. my brother and i the only minors in the courtroom, whole time i wanted my head off with a forte soon. i just want to know why she chose the n-gg- over family, forcing suicidal thoughts proving my insanity. from this i still get visions and flashbacks, the world is against me i’m really playin blackjack. man godd-mnit all this stress i really need to cut back, how am i scared if the n-gg-s head look like a n-ts-ck. one gotta go and it’s either me or him, and when i’m done with him i hope that he can swim. i hated every day goin to the n-gg-s house, and watching in on mommas plans to her ex-spouse, these feelings goin through me stay quiet like a mouse, but these memories to my brain will forever be a louse. i just can’t believe this is the one who made me, to betray my father she really tried to persuade me, the damage that she did she still ain’t repaid me, but if dudes are like the nba you might as well trade me

- cj lil trife lyrics

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