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clarkyartist - i had - remake lyrics

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i had

verse 1: (clarky)
cold air.. bright lights
my breath seems cold in the night sky
smoke blows through the wind; while the lights shine
and the clock can’t clock if the time’s right!

my life flies by.. thats that
i try to write a new track then i scr+p that
plus, i couldn’t give a f+ck if the word stops spinning
when it drops in my hands i’ll catch that!

my mind is a mess, thoughts shooting past
my life is a test and proving hard..
i can’t wish for a wish on a shooting star
and if i can’t pay my rent then im shooting stars!

music.. bars? +but my hearts all i listen to..
im blinded by lights but the dark is a mission, too
i can’t hide lies if the truth stays hidden, too
then i’ll regret them things that i didn’t do!

bright lights.. cold air..
a breeze in my lungs like i’d smoked air..
i’m looking at the world… ‘i could go there’
so why am i stuck here.. nowhere?
because i won’t dare to even think that?
+instead; i’ll just head into pitch black..
i see a rolled spliff turn into a roach tip
as i smoke it, and sit back

im just one person… in one town
in one country… on one round;
planet… in one universe..
in one dimension, im h+llbound?

well now? i guess thats a lesson..
try look at life with that perception..
>> you’ll notice how a life can change
when you grow to a man from adolesence..

verse 2: (clarky)
rain drops.. dark clouds..
i can’t seem to breathe but my heart pounds..
my hands just freeze while sparks bounce
and the voice in my head lists ‘unmarked vowes’
my gaurds down! +deep sweats!
the day had to come where i’d meet them..
so how could i say that im ‘ in too deep’
+when i haven’t even seen ‘deep’ yet?

they said that i was ‘smart’ +a compliment?
or do they say that because im confident?
i had to be a man; and face the consequence;
but my hearts too weak to show confidence!

plus conscousness is miles away..>>>
i’ll frown tonight; i had to smile today!
i had to get through this in a silent way;
cah i said ‘goodbye’ to the ‘viloent’ gage..

dark clouds.. rain drops..
i can’t see a day where the pain stops..
my appetite’s lost and the weights dropped;
and my face looks thin like ive aged lots!

its that same cost; life’s ‘priceless’
same old sh+t; new ‘crisis’
im tryna stay strong and be righteous
but i just feel so cold and lifeless!
>>>>>

ive got more people judging than are on my side;
they must not be in their right minds
i’ve been through more sh+t;
in the last three months;
than most go through; in a lifetime!

and this life’s mine; you don’t know sh+t!
if you knew how i felt then you’d notice?
and if i never changed? +i’d take both wrists!
because i’m hurting now more than most kids!

verse 3: (clarky)
a loud noise.. quiet mouth;
my body seems tight in this violent house
same old thoughts got silenced out
cos i feel so trapped in the riot shouts

im crying out on the inside!
on the outside.. am i still me?
i dont mean to offend.. but f+ck 9/11
cah the 12 of the 9th just k!lled me!

k!lled her too.. its f+cked up!
no ‘accident’ .. just ‘dumb luck’
them guys try ask if i’m ‘alright’;
+like i’ll reply with a ‘thumbs up’

you dumb f+cks! i gave up!
not just that.. but i gave blood..
i gained love.. and then i came up wrong;
so i guess this song is cos i made blood..

>>>>>

a quiet mouth.. a loud noise..
its all been a dream for this proud boy..
i didn’t give a f+ck for the rest of the world;
not if they didn’t care for our choice..

a ploy is what it seems more like;
cos now, no one asks if i’m ‘alright’
now i’m breaking down? there’s silence
i’ve got my ‘tears in the pillow’ & i’m ‘up all night’

i feel so dead and i’ll bet it lasts
cos i’m no good with forgetting the past!
i was promised closeness and feel pushed away..
so all i can hope is we’re getting past..

i guess all good things must come to an end..
although i held on.. and tried to hope for a bend..
now n0body knows how much i love you
nor how much that you had meant….. d+mn!

- clarkyartist lyrics

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