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clayton jennings - pills lyrics

so they say you parted the red sea, huh?
i thought about you when playing in the dead sea mud
they say that stuff fixes blemishes
every zit you put it on diminishes
it refreshes and replenishes
it’s too bad they don’t make that mud for the soul
because sometimes i look down at my chest at this gaping hole
and i begin to feel my fear taking hold
as panic sets in that i don’t have one
suicidal tendencies set in, where’s the gun, i need to grab one
temptation sets in, here’s a pill, clayton, have one
the last one’s always the last one until the last one becomes a past one
i pop pills to medicate, some pop pills to have fun
some get desperate and break into homes to steal some
home raidings like [nielsen?]
i always pop my pills to feel numb
another doctor’s note passed to the pharmacist, god bless her
“you’re an odd mess, sir”
she never said it, but thought it, i’m sure
she sees me online telling people about god and how he can heal them
wondering then why god can’t heal him
is popping pills from the doctors a real sin?
or am i the only one brave enough to admit that the world lacks real men?
and the pharmacist thinks if he says jesus gives peace, then why’d he just take a bag of klonopin from me?
when asked questions like that, most people would dodge them or flee
i don’t care, so i don’t freeze
if you want the truth, you’ll get it from me
i was hooked on prescription pills, and i might still be
the doctor called in clayton’s prescriptions around three
i knew his name but never met him personally
but i listened to his poetry, he seems like a good person to me
i guess i’ll know when i meet him, we’ll see
it’s weird because his poem ‘please don’t k!ll yourself’ saved me
i won’t judge him for his prescriptions just like they train me
but giving pills to numb my favorite artist trained me
because before that video, i was on the tracks thinking train me
he’ll never know that his video saved me
another tim, chris, sally, or amy
but this is a new one for me
do you know what this is doing to me?
but it’s my job to hand out pills by the bottles before people hit throttles
and then here i pull up, and i see this brunette at the window
her hair falls past her shoulders as the wind blows
clayton jennings, right, if i recall?
oops, i think she just broke protocol
uhh, i mean name and date of birth
i know she’s judging me, oh wait, it hurts
i turn the radio up, no conversation, it works
i hand back the paperwork
she half+waves, smiles, then smirks
i open up the bag, and we begin to flirt
not me and the pharmacist, me and the pills
one from this one, and one from that one, and another ’til i get my fill
i got sent spiraling on a downward hill
even getting judged from fans as pharmacists for popping these pills
hard to get off of them, i mean stopping them k!lls
and it nearly k!lled me
but the power of god filled me
or something inside of me screamed to me “this is gonna k!ll me!”
watching me melt down must’ve been thrilling
but all the while behind the scenes god was instilling
something no pill could be filling
something no prescription could tame
a diagnosis doctors couldn’t name
it was strength, and i felt it flow through me
i went from death to life, you’d know it if you knew me
because i can do all things through christ who gives me strength
you can call me whatever, i don’t care what you think
because i think that god is my defender, and god is my shield
and i don’t fear ten thousand accusers against me, a lion in a field
my mind is being renewed, and my heart is being healed
down and out a has+been, my fate had been sealed
but god, but god, but god
my staff and my rod
i will walk through the valley of the shadow of death and fear nothing
because i’ve been through that valley, and the devil couldn’t touch me
to my enemies, you cannot rush me
out of my mind, i must be
because trust me
i’d rather be out of my mind and walking in the spirit than be in my mind and not be able to hear it
when you dance with god’s wrath, you begin to fear it
when you listen to the devil, you begin to hear it
first it comes as a whisper, and then it’s a roar right in your face
and he tries everything he can to put you right in your place
here’s another pill, smash it right to your face
take two more, clayton, you know you love the taste
it makes you feel like you’re somewhere far, far away
where everything’s okay and people only have kind words to say
there are no more mind games to play
because on these pills, your mind goes away
and after a while, mine went a way
and i went through h+ll getting it back
and the devil didn’t want me to tell people about h+ll, he wanted my mind like, “give it back!”
he wanted my head, but you can’t have it
so he pushes my hand toward the pill bottle just so he can have it
because once he has your thoughts, it’s your life he attacks next
you start waking up looking at your phone shocked at your last text
escaping through a pill can be hazardous
i slept in pill bottles for mattresses
what’s the bible say about legal drugs, any passages?
everyone is so pilled up without a care, but i’m passionate
if you try to put those pills back on me, i’m passin’ it
i’m walking straight to the wastebin and trashin’ it
my life coulda been wasted, but i’m a real+life living lazarus
and now i got jamie and arabelle, and i’m looking at this future god has for us
it’s immaculate
but then i see a stain
and a rip
and the whole picture starts to crumble
the lightning flashes, and the clouds begin to rumble
i run, trip, slip, and i stumble
i’m prideful, and god’s for the humble
i see a tornado headed my way, and you wouldn’t believe the size of it’s funnel
so i jump off the road and run into a tunnel
an old song says, “what if i stumble?”
it’s by dc talk
i can’t see people gossip, but i can hear them talk
but i begin to walk, and i listen a little closer
is my life really over?
i can hear the tornado getting closer
every good thing i’ve ever done, it’s shredding to pieces and blowing right over
then i wake up sweating, go to jump in the shower
i gotta get online for a bible study in like an hour
you guys try to put me on a pedestal, but i’m afraid of heights, i guess i’m a coward
i prefer to blend in than stand out
but i’ve always felt the need to put my hand out
to other people hurting like me
it’s funny because i became exactly who i’ve always worried i’d be
the guy trying to save everyone while i’m the one who sinks

- clayton jennings lyrics

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